WiF – Rise of the Ubermensch

Fall 2017 Campaign

Germany: Auberon Crocker, Tyler Hines
Japan: Ryan Gale
Italy: Shelby Hanna, James Frusetta

CW: Alex Abbott, Garnet Crocker
USA/China: Austin Obenshain
USSR/Fra: David McElrath, Hight

Bids

Agreed on team play. 

WAR REPORT

Sept/Oct 1939: The Germans attack Poland, encircling Warsaw and Lodz and taking both cities without loss. A minor oversight nearly causes a disaster as unchecked Polish forces in the south nearly go on a rampage, but the crisis is averted. The remaining Poles in the north do kill a German Inf DIV, so the campaign is not without loss. The French, in an unusual show of bravado, find a seam in the German lines and send a CAV corps to Munich, where they destroy the factory before then managing to scamper back to France. A French strategic bombing campaign fails to do any damage. Italy stays mysteriously quiet, maintaining peace in the Mediterranean. Japan is not so peaceful landing, additional troops in China. They seize Chengchow and cannot control their forces, resulting in a media disaster as Japanese troops participate in the “Rape of Chengchow,” angering the US public. The Japanese keep a heavy presence in Manchuria as well. The early demise of the Poles allows the Germans to redeploy forces southward. The CW shuffled troops around in the Med and lands an expeditionary force in France. The Soviets demand Bessarabia and the Germans force the Rumanians to cede the territory. Germany then supports the Hungarian and Bulgarian demands as well. Both Hungary and Bulgaria are activated as Axis allies. Germany manages to fail almost every US entry roll, which pushes US entry forward. The US pick “E.R. Murrow Reports” and start resources to China.

Nov/Dec 1939: The weather starts typical, but then the Allied pain begins, as the Axis enjoy what will become 4 consecutive clear weather impulses, 3 of them in N/D. In the second Axis impulse, Germany DOWs both the Netherlands and Yugoslavia. This rash move is handsomely rewarded with all of the extra clear weather, and Germany conquers both nations without loss. The bucky Brits, however, do manage to land a supporting force into Rotterdam. More French bombing, no effect. The Italians continue to see the virtue of peace. The Soviets demands the Finnish borderlands, and the Germans allow the just request. Japan masses it forces in southern China and attacks inland from Canton, but the attack is not successful, killing one Chinese corps for the loss of 2 Japanese DIVs. The turn ends with the US occupying Greenland and Iceland and the Chinese starting aircraft production.

 

Jan/Feb 1940: The new year starts under a bright Axis sun, as unseasonably clear weather grips the world. The Germans take advantage and attack Belgium  They manage to clear Liege and Brussels, but take two casualties in the assault on the capital. The attack gives the Allies a chance to support the beleaguered minor, and French and British troops move into Belgium to defend what is rest of the nation. In that same turn the Germans unleash “Aryan Preparedness” – codename for using offensive points to take a land and a naval in the same turn. The resulting naval battle was disappointing, with no surface sightings and German subs being forced to rebase home without damage on either side. The weather at turns end finally worsens, and the front stabilized in the West. Finland is activated as a German minor ally. The Japanese kill a partisan in China and continue to maneuver. More Japanese troops push towards the Soviet border. No explanation is given for this aggressive posturing. The French attack German factories for a third time and fail again.

Mar/Apr 1940: The long streak of winter clear weather finally breaks, giving the Allies a small bit of relief. The Germans reorganize their line in the West, reinforce Poland, and prepare for better weather. The Italians remain quiet and peace-loving, although there are rumblings of war. Japan activates Siam and the US seems not to care. Japan does that 2 BPs from China, but otherwise the turn is relatively quiet amidst constant storming. The US embargos oil and starts lend lease to China.

May/June 1940: “The Happy Time” for the Axis, who see basically nothing go wrong. 9 attacks are made, some as low as +5, and exactly none of them fail (the highest odds the Germans had was +11, with six of the attacks ranging between +5 and +9). Turn starts clear and stays clear, even for the Japanese in the North Monsoon zone, allowing them to break the Chinese lines and advance all along the southern frontier. As a result the Japanese take the two southern resource points and nearly surround Chang-Sha. The Chinese retreat, reeling from the offensive, but manage to stop the Japanese just short of Kwei-Yang. Meanwhile, the Italians finally succumb to pressure and declare war on France and the Commonwealth. They damage the Warspite and CA Devonshire in Malta, but fail to find the CW navy in the Med. The British strike back and sink an Italian CONV, but the Italian fleet escapes unharmed. As the turn went long, the WDF advanced into Libya, and cleared Benghazi, taking a DIV loss in the process. The Italians conquer Tunisia.
  But the real story is Germany, who focuses exclusively on the French in the West and batters forward throughout the turn. Although the Brits hold three hexes in the north, the Germans concentrate their armor and hit the French lines. Despite stout resistance the Germans perform well, breaking the strong first line with two relatively low odds attacks that were stunningly successful. The German push into France, continuing to kill French units until they exploit into Lille and cut off the Maginot Line from the main French army. The Germans lost only a TAC shot down and a single ARM DIV. The CW units in the north are untouched, however, leaving the German flank long and potentially exposed.
  The Russians reorient their forces as more German units appear on their border in Poland. The German concentration on building HQs and ARM makes it look like a confrontation with the Russian Bear might be coming.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jul/Aug 1940:  The Axis again win initiative and the turn starts ominously for the Allies. The Germans send a NAV into the North Sea and block supply to the BEF in Belgium. Three German TAC then swarm in, flipping more than half of the British defenders, including all six counters in Antwerp (three planes and three land units!). The Germans then proceed to eliminate Antwerp on a +14 assault. Next impulse, the Germans clear the hex south, resulting in total of 30 BPs of loss for the Commonwealth. To add insult to injury, the CW on the succeeding impulse port strike a lone Italian TRS in Homs – and fail to find the port (1 vs. 10 on search roll!). A similar port strike against the undefended German navy in Kiel sees the Germans get a ridiculous AA roll of 9, 9, 7, which essentially gutted the strike that could have been painful. Later in the turn the British overrun the Italian TRS, but it survives the overrun roll, then evades the British fleet, making it safely to Tripoli. Meanwhile, The Germans rolls in France as well, killing another stack of French units west of Lille (rolls a ’16’ on a +12 blitz – the 11th consecutive successful attack by the Germans….), but then finally the French decide to show up and fight. In the center of the line the Germans take a hex, but 1/2 flip – the first partial failure of the Western front (7 rolled on +10 blitz). This starts a cascade of mediocrity from the Germans, who are clearly tiring. A +6 blitz is partially successful, taking the hex without loss but flipping. A +7 assault on Metz is the first outright failure, costing the Germans a GAR and GAR Div for one French loss. The Allies try passing but fail, and the German continue to push forward. At the end of the turn the German have one hex adjacent to Paris, have eliminated all but one hex of the BEF (they are holed up in Rotterdam), and have nearly cleared the Maginot. The British, however, are being pesky. Alexander and an ARM land in Bordeaux and look to be setting up shop.
  Italy reinforces Libya and manages to save its TRS from death, but loses the Sardinian res point to a sneaky British invasion when the island is put out of supply. Not much else happens in the Med.
  Japan builds up in both China and on the Soviet Siberian border. Two new corps head to Siberia and a MECH and IHQ head to China for what appears to be a renewed offensive in the making. No attacks are made this turn, but the Japanese reorganize their line and significantly beef up the corps on the front. The US enacts a complete embargo on Japan for their aggressiveness, which impacts the Japanese economy. US entry seems high although tension is low (there is not a single chit in the Japanese tension pool!). Tensions are on the rise!

Sept/Oct 1940: The Axis win initiative yet again, but the weather at the start of the turn turns sour – rain soaks the fields of France (rolled ‘8’). This does not stop the German war machine. They take Rouen on a +8 assault (but take one loss) and blitz a hex on the southern wing in France as well. As the turn continues the rain does not abate but German fortunes finally do. The Germans assault a completely surrounded Metz but fail (1/1). The French finally claim an outright victory of their own, shooting down a Stuke with their vaunted D510s. The turns ends with the Germans two hexes closer on the wings, but still only having a single hex on Paris. The Brits evacuate Rotterdam completely, but the troops come back to France in the new redoubt around Bordeaux.
  Italy runs another HQ into Tripoli despite the British naval presence and then strikes out to remove the invaders from Libya. After a fortuitous groundstrike, Wavell is disorganized in Homs and the Italians attack. The Italians lose a MECH but bash the Brits back to England.
  The turns ends with only three Axis impulses because of the bad weather. The US sends resources to the USSR and relocates the fleet to Pearl Harbor – sending shivers of concern up the spine of the Japanese player. US entry is unusually advanced.

Nov/Dec 1940: The Allies finally win initiative. The weather, however, stays abysmally bad. Rain storms and even blizzards plague Europe. The CW completes the conquest of Sardinia and reinforces its holdings in Tunisia (after being expelled from central Libya. The Brits try to attack Italian units conveying supply to Libya, but fail to find anything. More troops are relocated to Bordeaux.
  Germany presses forward in storms, taking a second hex adjacent to Paris on a +4 blitz that is absurdly successful (no loss, half flipped). The French make them pay, however, as a +5 assault on Metz fails, costing another German unit. The Germans seek to clear a third hex before Paris, but fail in a bloody assault (2/2). The French are weakening, but still more or less hold a line.
  The Japanese see the weather clear in the North Monsoon for a single impulse and take advantage seizing Chang-Sha on a +12 assault that succeeds without loss. The Americans do not seem to care. At the turn’s end the US refutes naval war zones, finally building tension for the first time against the Japanese.

Jan/Feb 1941: The streak of bad weather continues, much to the lament of the Axis. The Axis win initiative and go first, but the blizzard sets in, preventing the Germans from doing much of anything. In the second Axis impulse the Germans again try to clear that 3rd hex on Paris, but finally have a bad roll (‘4’) which costs them a MECH and they fail to take the hex. Metz holds strong, so much so that Germans finally let a turn go by without assaulting it.
  The CW forces in Tunisia continue to build and the reinforced Brits start pushing southward towards Libya, seeking to attack Tripoli from the west. More naval combat is sought but again there is no combat as the forces miss one another. The French send a TRS to pick up the new Senegalese MIL, but fearing the worst the troops are diverted to Gabon.
  Japan reinforces China yet more, but the oil embargo is clearly having an impact as the Japanese have slowed their aggressive plans considerably. The US feeds those fear, gearing up at the end of the turn. The turn ends quite early after only two impulses for each side.

March/April 1941: The weather starts bad and the turn is short, but the Axis make the most of their opportunities. In the first stormy impulse the Germans realign their front, kill a French partisan. Then the weather clears and the Germans blitz their way into a third hex on Paris without taking a loss. The last of the French airplanes gets shot down, leaving the skies filled with only Axis aircraft. The final impulse sees the weather turn stormy again, but the Germans use it to position all of their best troops for an assault on Paris. German planes are start strategically bombing London, taking 2 BPs from the CW.
  Italy and the British (with help from the French) play cat and mouse in the Med, but no one can manage to find anything despite repeated attempts. The CW appears to have a naval advantage, but they repeatedly miss good opportunities, including a few chances at catching Italian TRS movements.
  Japan starts to realign its forces in China, moving units towards the coast. The rapid progression of the US appears to be forcing the Japanese to prepare for a wider war sooner rather than later. At turn’s end no attacks are made, and the US selects the Truman Doctrine and aid to CW ships.

May/June 1941: The Allies had a slim hope of staving off defeat in France, but the Axis win initiative. Germany uses a land chit to overwhelm the French defenders, taking Paris without loss in the first impulse (+14 assault). Next impulse the Germans clear Metz, again without loss. Two more attacks are made to ‘clean up’ the lines, all of which result in French bodies and German successes. By mid-turn the Germans start railing units to the Eastern Front. The Soviets have clearly taken an aggressive posture, moving all of their units towards the border with Germany. Was between the land juggernauts seems increasingly likely. German bombers again find London and take 1BP. A single British bomber tries to bomb Essen, but misses its target.
  Italy manages to find some British and French convoys not once, but twice. The Allies cover the losses but 8 total CPs were lost (3 of them French). Mid-turn the British use their massive navy to assault Tripoli from the Tunisian side, taking the city without loss (+12 assault, 17 rolled). The Italians do manage to regroup and preserve the other six corps in Libya, but the territory falls to the CW at turn’s end nonetheless. In desperation, the Italian 1-4 Libyan TER is commanded to assault Algeirs (defended by a 1-1 CW GAR DIV). They surprisingly do well despite the low-odds attack and both units are killed. Italy conquers French Somaliland.
  Japan continues to maneuver around, but the news continues to be grim as the Americans pass the War Appropriations act. Since the American navy is already in Pearl, they have all of the bonuses possible for a declaration of war. It just remains to see what the tension and entry levels are.
  At the end of the turn the Germans install a Vichy government.
Mor, Algeria, Syria, Indochina, Madagascar, Asian territories, and ‘others’ go Vichy. West Africa, Equatorial Africa, and the Pacific territories stay Free French. A TRS and a few CONV plus the Senegalese MIL prepare to fight for the freedom of France from afar. Gabon is made the new home country of Free France.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

July/August 1941: A long turn. The Allies win initiative even after the Axis ask for a re-roll. The CW starts by posting a large fleet off the coast of Italy, loaded with AMPH and TRS filled with troops. The Italians seek to destroy the fleet and, as will become the theme for the turn, find fortune. Despite being outgunned in the naval-air battle, the Italians manage to shoot down or abort the British FTRs and then damage the best AMPH, sending the 8-4 Aussies home. In separate battles the CA Sheffield and Fiji are damaged and 5 CONV are lost. Despite several opportunities at advantage, the British navy cannot seem to locate the Italian navy. Next impulse the CW forces land anyway, just south of Leghorn. The Axis, caught slightly off guard, respond but the mountains of Italy make the response slow. The Germans start sending actual aid to the Italians and reinforce Rome. The following impulse the Brits manage an impressive +7 assault on Rome itself, but perform badly (2/1 and fail to take the city). At the end of the turn the Brits do manage to liberate Tunisia and kill a stack of Italians in Libya, but their beachhead is weakened and major Axis forces are streaming southward.
  Meanwhile in the Pacific, the Japanese declare occupation of Indochina and royally irritate the Americans, where public opinion finds that this is the last straw for Axis aggression. The Japanese are clearly preparing for war that seems to be coming earlier rather than later.
  The Soviets are massing their army on the Polish border. The Germans, not to be outdone, are doing the same. But the German units are better and they have an airforce whereas the Soviets have only a small one. The garrison ratio is near on equal, which likely means that war will come in early 1942.
  The turn finally ends after 9 impulses. The US selects the option allowing the CW to reinforce the Pacific and British troops immediately rebase into Singapore and Rabaul. Japanese morale audibly drops at the news.

 

Sept/Oct 1941: The Allies again win initiative, again after a failed Axis demand for a re-roll. With public opinion roiling about Japanese transgressions, Congress votes to send the USA to war against the Japanese! (Needed 7, rolled 5 for DOW). The British and Free French follow suit. We near global war.
  The CW and FF also DOW Vichy, taking Syria and pushing into Algeria to liberate the oppressed territories. The CW eliminate all but a single corps of Italians in Libya in several separate attacks. The Germans reinforce Italy, sending corps and aircraft, which quickly enables the Italians to completely eliminate the Allied beachhead in Italy. The painfully clear weather aids the Axis in their endeavor. By turn’s end the invasion of Italy is over, but the Italians have lost their African presence. Germany and the USSR continue their ‘border buildup’ and stare each other down.
  In the surprise impulse the Americans send fast cruiser forces to raid the Japanese convoy lines and find surprising success, ravaging the lines. 10 CONV are sunk and many others aborted. The Japanese respond, sinking the CA Vincennes, a sub, and damaging the CA Tuscaloosa. The Japanese also damage the FF TRS that landed reinforcements into Batavia. The Japanese do manage to take the oil fields at Balipapan and Tarakan – a vital move to keep the Imperial Japanese war efforts alive.
  The turn goes ridiculously long (11 impulses!). Near the end the Germans activate Rumania, signaling the impending war with the USSR. The turn ends with Germans troops railing into Rumania and the Soviets scrambling to cover the new extended border.

Shocking addition: During Peace Phase the CW and Italy announce a peace treaty. Libya and Sardinia are returned to Italy and the CW agrees to send resources and oil to Italy starting immediately, with escalating trade over the years. The CW gets guarantees about Italian troop movements, the A-E Sudan is returned, and… that seems to be about it. The aim seems to be anti-Soviet and anti-Japanese, since the the CW fleet immediately starts relocating to the Pacific and Italian troops and aircraft head to the Soviet border.

Nov/Dec 1941: The Allies win initiative but have the Axis move first. Despite the bad weather the turns runs long again (favoring the Axis, 8 impulses!). The Germans and Italians position on the Eastern front. A reinforcement or two head to France, where the British and Americans are building up around Bordeaux (the Germans never reduced that pocket after the fall of France). American forces are now starting to accumulate, and the Germans pre-empt the surprise for the US by declaring war with Italy on the USA at the turn’s end. The Germans take a BP from Glasgow, but CW bombing is again ineffective, mainly because there are no/few strategic bombers in play. The German navy sails and is caught by two small cruiser forces, resulting in the CA Sheffield and Glasgow being damaged, the BB Terror being sunk, and the allied CAs Java and an unnamed Danish ship also being sunk. The Germans have the Bismarck and Gneisenau both damaged.
  In the Pacific the Japanese show that they have spirit, placing the US navy out of supply in Rabaul and effectively preventing the US from doing any offensive operations for the turn. In the skirmishes for supply, however, the Japanese lose the CAs Kumano and Maya with the Chokai damaged. The Japanese reorganize their lines in China and keep a strong hold on the oil on Borneo.

Jan/Feb 1942: The turning point comes. Despite a disadvantage, Axis fortune holds and the Axis get initiative. Germany and Italy immediately declare war on the USSR after breaking the pact. But the weather is miserable and the front line basically does not shift at all. As the turn advances the Soviets try a thrust into Rumania, but superior Axis airforces maul the Soviet airforce, shooting down the best two Soviet FTRs to no loss (and while flying at disadvantage!). The Soviets manage to take one hex but it cost the loss of a quality MOT. The turn ends in the East with virtually no change on the front anywhere.
  In the Pacific the Japanese continue to be crafty, putting the newly arrived British fleet in Singapore out of supply and again putting the US fleet in Rabaul out of supply after knocking out the supply line (damaged the CA Astoria) in poor weather. The Brits respond, catching the CA Aoba loaded with a MAR Div off the coast of Ceylon, ending a potential thrust in the area.

Mar/April 1942: The Allies want initiative, and win it after a reroll. The weather is then surprisingly clear (roll of modified 10). The Soviets use the weather to sneak a 5-3 INF corps into Hungary and seize Budapest deep behind Axis lines! In the same initial impulse the Soviets launch an attack in northern Finland and take Petsamo on a daring +4 attack (rolling a 20!). The war gods favor the Soviets, who also manage a successful blitz attack to punch a hole in the German lines near Bucharest. That advance gives the Soviets a key corner for additional attacks, and throughout the turn the Soviets slowly push the Axis lines back a hex each impulse. By the end of the turn despite a worsening of the weather, the Soviets push to adjacent to the Poesti oil fields and Bucharest. Meanwhile, on the rest of the Eastern front the bad weather slows things considerably. The Germans make one (successful) attack and push the Soviets back a hex in Poland, but the line is otherwise a big ‘sitzkrieg.’ The Germans do take a BP from the Soviets in strategic bombing. The bad weather prevents a German counterattack in Hungary, and as a result the Hungarians wisely decide to surrender to the Soviets and exit the war.
  The CW and Americans also take advantage of the one impulse of initial clear weather to launch a surprise invasion in Normandy. A stack of CW troops takes St. Malo in the first impulse and waves of CW troops follow on, securing Brittany (including Brest). The Germans hastily cobble together a defense line, but they are clearly troop poor in France. The CW and US still hold the Bordeaux area, which has since been significantly built up with land and aircraft units.
  In the Pacific, the Chinese also take advantage. At the end of the previous turn, a 5-3 Nationalist slipped on the coast next to Canton. With the double move, the 5-3 corps entered an undefended Canton, sinking the Suzuya, the Kako, the BB Yamashiro, and AMPH and capturing a TRS and AMPH. A much larger fleet was present in port but escaped (fleet was disorganized). Japanese morale plummets with the loss, so they take revenge by launching two assaults to clear the southern coast. They do so, killing 3 Chinese units without loss, including retaking Canton.
  The US activates Brazil as an ally.

May/June 1942: The summer starts with the Allies winning initiative (after a reroll), but the weather is middling (R in the Arctic, clear elsewhere). The Soviet front remains static in the north and centre, but the Soviets use the clear southern weather to launch a daring attack on the Ploesti oil fields. The attack is a success, killing both defending German corps with a roll of 19 on a +8 blitz (modified 27). The attack breaks the Axis line, and by the end of the turn Rumania is conquered, Bulgaria is conquered, and the line extends into eastern Yugoslavia. Italian reinforcements rush forward and try to hold back the Soviet onslaught. The Germans do manage to retake Budapest, but the Hungarians are not flocking to the cause.
  In western Europe the CW lands forces in La Rochelle and in the Netherlands, threatening a stab to the German heartland. The Germans react quickly and manage to blitz the beachhead in Holland into the sea, but the joint US-CW forces in France push forward, linking the Normandy landings with those of Aquitaine. By the end of the turn the Allied forces are starting to pressure the Germans from Bayonne to St. Malo. German reinforcements are arriving, but oddly no Italians are helping in France. Most of the Italian army is now in Yugoslavia and Poland.
  The Japanese are curiously quiet, conserving oil. They kill a partisan in China and reorganize their lines, but little else is done. The Allies attack the convoy lines again, sinking the CA Nachi and 3 CONV, but otherwise the Pacific is quiet. The US shuttles more CVPs forward and the US fleet is starting to look beefy. The Japanese are tenaciously holding on to 2 oil points in the NEI – their sole source of oil and critical to the war effort.
  The Allies end the turn, shifting initiative towards the Axis. Mexico is brought into the war as a US minor ally.

July/August 1942: The Axis win initiative, but it takes a reroll to get it.  The Germans start the turn by reorganizing the defenses in France and pulling back to a defensible river line (the Seine). The Germans by the end of the turn establish a firm defense line at the Seine. The Allies eliminate a pocket of resistance and push up to the front. The CW invades Denmark, liberating the country at the end of the turn and the Americans rebase units into Tunisia threatening the Italians in Libya.
  The Soviets press forward the southern flank, slowing chewing up a hex and there with low and medium odds attacks (including one key advance under Marshall McErathnik in Poland). Near the end of the turn the Soviets make a daring double-pincer move – that succeeds. With the help of Red Paratroopers the northern assault breaks through and the southern armored attack near Belgrade blitzes through despite a heavy German and Italian commitment of forces (needed a ’21’ on a +5 blitz, rolled 16 to get it!). As a result Guderian is killed and three hexes of the Carpathian mountains filled with quality German units (and some Italians) is pocketed. The result also blows a huge hole in the Axis line. The Axis quickly repair it, but have to cede Belgrade to the Soviets, who liberate the nation at the end of the turn. The Soviets also bomb two German cities, taking 2 BP and 2 oil.
  In the Pacific the first turn is surprising clear, so the US takes advantage and launches a quick invasion of Truk. The attack takes one loss but succeeds, giving the US a forward major port. The turn runs long, giving the Allies time to reorganize and push forward.

Sept/Oct 1942: The Allies win initiative despite an Axis call for a reroll. The weather turns muddy across the globe immediately. The US posts naval fleets to try and hit Japanese convoys, but they find nothing. On the Japanese first impulse, however, the Imperial Fleet sails to establish convoys and supply. The US finds the Japanese navy three consecutive times and basically eviscerates the Japanese. The Zuikaku, Akagi, Hiryu, Shokaku are all sunk, along with the CVLs Shinyo, Ryuho, Shoho, and Zuiho. The BB Hiei is also sunk, and many ships were damaged as well, including the Nagato, the Hyuga, the Ise, the Mutsu, and the CVs Hiyo and Soryu. Japanese morale, which had been low, plummeted further. In the battles the Allies lost four cruisers (2 CW and 2 US), the CW had two BBs damaged, and the US had three cruisers damaged. 

 

Game called: Allied major victory S/O 1943.

WAR NEWS

Elan! Elan! French Cavalry Strike at the Bosch! Munich Burns! Dateline Munich 5 Sept 1939 (AP World News): In what can only be described as a daring, dashing, bold demonstration of superior French military morale, an elite corps of French cavalry plunged into the Bavarian countryside this week, destroying German rails and lines of communication. Finding no serious resistance, the French commander General Jacques Barbeque (pronounced Bar-BECK) spurred his troops forward – all the way to Munich. Hundreds of kilometers behind enemy lines, General Barbeque boldly torched the industrial complex outside of Munich (tenderly protecting innocent civilains) and destroyed a training base for Nazi mutant soldiers. The mayor of Munich presented General Barbeque with a wreath “of appreciation” for his service in protecting the people of Munich. Audolph Critler in a speech this evening blamed the event on the fact that he was refrosting his hair and could not pay attention to “every little detail” in the war. “Maintaining the Aryan look is more important than a few munitions factories,” said the Fuhrer.

 

 

 

 

Japanese Start New Offensive in China, Countless Dead outside of Canton. Dateline Canton, China 3 November 1939 (Nationalist Wire): The Japanese army reopened hostilities against China this morning with a thunderous naval barrage against Nationalist forces that were approaching Canton. The Chinese have been making steady progress in reclaiming territory seized by the Japanese. The Japanese army then launched an offensive, supported by a marine landing, pushing north and west from Canton. Brave Chinese soldiers performed well, destroying the marine landing and inflicting serious casualties on the Japanese. Only a few hundred thousand Chinese were lost in the action.

Soviets Demand Territory from the Finns; Justice is Served. Dateline Leningrad 18 November 1939 (TASS): After languishing for several decades under the incompetent and oppressive administration of the Finnish government, lands that have been Russian for hundreds of years were finally repatriated yesterday as Mannerheim and the Finnish government agreed in a peaceful accord to return the lands to the Soviet Union. “We are gratified that the Finnish people saw fit to place justice above their own selfish interests,” remarked Premier Stalight. “We look forward to repatriating more of our territory in the years to come.” Premier Stalight also praised Critler for his role in supporting the deal, although cautioned that Critler’s recent aggressive actions in Europe “would not go unnoticed forever.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Italy Forced into War! Dateline Rome 24 May 1940 (Avanti!) Despite continued attempts by Italy to assure the British Commonwealth that Il Duce wants peace for his nation, the aggressive posture of the British in the Mediterranean has forced the nation to action. “No more can Italy stand by while the British war dogs threaten us in our backyard,” Il Duce stated upon issuing the Declaration of War. In support of Italy’s brave ally, the German Reich, Il Duce has also declared war against France. Backing up the declaration with true and daring action, the brave Italian armed forces struck at Malta. The Italian Navy could not find the Royal British Navy in the Mediterranean, a sure sign of the weakness that grows from liberal democratic regimes. Tunisia falls within weeks of Italian pressure, while our colonial forces prepare to defend Tripoli.

Italians Violate Civil Code with Surprise Attack Short-Term News: June 1, 1940. VALETTA, MALTA–This week, in what is being called an “indefensible” breach of human decency and the rules of peace and war, the Italian Regia Marina and Regia Aeronautica launched an unwarranted and unprecedented strike against British military targets in the Mediterranean. Despite the fact that the Royal Navy had been doing nothing more than conducting routine training exercises in the region, hawkish elements of the Italian state persuaded the nation’s rational pacifists to abandon their decadent peace. As hundreds of planes soared towards the main naval base in the Mediterranean, a diplomatic fiasco unfolded; the formal declaration of war was delayed in being decoded in London, meaning that Italian Ambassador to England Giacomo Frusettio delivered the message to officials in Whitehall over two hours after the first bombs were dropped on ships in Malta. The Regia Aeronautica’s actions have been judged a war crime by the signers of the Geneva Convention and the League of Nations. Frusettio has been detained as an accessory to war crimes. If this reporter can take solace in one thing, it is that the backlash from this event means that this heinous act will not be repeated in this generation.

Japanese Forces Show up to Ping-Pong Tournament, Bayonet Team China Dateline Canton 16 June 1940 (Chop Chop Wire News). In a move that is drawing international outrage, Imperial Japan elected to send armed military units instead of its international ping-pong team to an open tournament held during an armistice period just north of Canton. The Japanese units first opened fire on the Chinese sportsmen before slaughtering them with bayonets — despite some inspired play that saw the Chinese score points on 12 different occasions (although the Chinese took none of the matches in the round-robin format). Eventually the final score was Japan 21 China disqualified for excessive bleeding on the tables. China has protested the result, citing the illegality of sharp weapons in the sport, but Japan has noted that the rules do not explicitly ban the use of weapons in ping-pong matches. Chang-Kai-Shain has pledged to start equipping his national sports teams with “pointy sticks that go jab-jab” unless the Japanese agree to alter their behavior. 

French Battle Plan “Succeeds Beyond Expectation” Dateline Paris, 27 June 1940 (Le Monde). Reacting to the troubling news that lead elements of the German army are approaching Paris, newly promoted General Jacques Barbeque (Bar-BECK!), released a statement this afternoon to the press. “Our strategy from the outset was to preserve the lives of our soldiers. To that effect, our troops were instructed to abandon their positions at first contact with the enemy, and flee strategically to the west to set up a new line that could be abandoned in the future. We employed this strategy several times successfully in the months of May and June, and are proud to note that the casualty rate for the army is well below the rate experienced in the First Great War for the same period of time. We are most proud of how our troops so bravely executed these difficult maneuvers. If our allies the British would actually do anything, then the war might soon end as we have done our part exhausting the Germans from having to move so much in so short a time.”

British Expeditionary Force Debates Action  Dateline Antwerp 28 June 1940 (London Times). The decision to make the army democratic in 1938 is now being questioned in some areas of the government, as the generals in Belgium have been debating whether to attack or “do anything” for the past four months. Said General Garlex Crokbott “There was a proposal to bomb the German front line a few weeks back. Eventually one plane was flown, and it was a smashing success, disabling an entire panzer corps for weeks. We had a bloody good time that night I say! But then I thought that success was scary and some might want us to be successful all the time, so we wisely refused to fly any additional bombing missions.” Sources internal to the high command report that this attitude is undergoing revision, and a recent vote amongst the generals was 21-18 in favor of reopening the possibility of actually flying the RAF planes.

Fuehrer Rebuffs Frusetta Dateline Rome 28 June 1940 (Avanti!) After nobly entering into the great conflict that has spread across Europe on the side of the German Reich, Il Duce sent Foreign Affairs Minister Frusetta to Berlin to seek out a new trade deal with the Germans. Should Italy secure a deal she both needs and rightfully deserves, her war effort against the liberal war hawks in London and Paris will strike fear into the hearts of British and French children and inspire the young men of Republics everywhere with the superiority of the Fascist system of government. Unfortunately, after over a month of negotiations, the Fuehrer has met Minister Frusetta with nothing but undue scorn and hostility. It is an utter shame that the German Fuehrer cannot see the nobility of the Italian struggle. The preliminary deal struck “does not pretend to even go half as far as what it ought to be,” Il Duce has said of it.

 

 

Compass Confusion Leaves Italians Baffled, Besieged BBC News: August 15, 1940. SIRTE, LIBYA–A fiasco within the Quartermaster Corps of the Italian 10th Army, stationed in Libya, has left thousands of soldiers far away from their battle stations and looking for answers, as well as their units. The commander of Italian forces in North Africa, Rodolfo Grazishelby, provided more details in an exclusive interview with BBC: “Wella, you seea, wea were goinga to marcha east, buta because of thea faulty compassesa, wea actually sent forces intoa Tunisiaaaa. Wea quickly realized the mistakea, but thea units were soa far into Algeriaaaa by that time that wea left them therea. Bya that time, the British had breached oura defenses, so all wea could do was huddle arounda Tripolia.” British forces have surrounded the capital of Libya but have been unable to press forward so far. Unconfirmed rumors that the same person responsible for the faulty compasses was to blame for the Italian Navy’s utterly inept searches in the Mediterranean theatre; perhaps with new leadership and improved equipment will come a willingness and ability to do combat in the Mediterranean Sea.

 

 

 

 

 

Mighty Metz! Le Monde 18 September 1940. METZ, France: After four solid months of unrelenting German assaults from both the land and air, the French forces defending the isolated fortress of Metz have made their statement to the world: We shall not be defeated! Knowing the importance of the fortress to the war effort, the French High Command sent famed General Barbeque to command the forces there and the effect was instantaneous. Only two days after his arrival, the Germans launched a massive assault. Under the courageous and inspired leadership of General Barbeque, the Wehrmacht was repulsed with heavy casualties. “The old strategy of retreat to tire the enemy out was not working,” said Barbeque, “so we tried something new: shooting at the Germans as they approached. No one was more surprised than I to learn that this actually works. We plan to do more of it now.” And worked it has, as subsequent attacks on Metz have all failed to reduce the stronghold. “Victory is now in sight. The Germans cannot possible sustain such a high rate of loss on the battlefield, especially knowing that the British are several hundred miles away defending France from the deep rear.”

Soviets Taunt Mighty Japanese Empire Amid Oil Shortage! Japan Times 5 November 1940. Tokyo Japan: In a time where oil is more precious than diamonds, the Soviets have ‘offered’ a non-aggression pact, but any rational being can figure out what those commies really mean. Sources indicate, meanwhile, that the Soviets are fortifying their western borders even as they speak of peace. They are a bloodthirsty and unpredictable people, and to align our great country with theirs would only tarnish the great name of Japan. Either way, their land will soon belong to the Japanese Empire, so it matters little – once the leadership finds a way to procure oil, that is. Shortly after our leaders proudly rejected the non-aggression pact from the Soviet Union, the United States began fortifying their western borders. It matters little. Early reports indicate that their navy is “pitiful, and a small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defense of their larger vessels.” And this, of course, is not nearly as laughable as the Soviet troops, some of which seem not even to be armed with a weapon. Be sure to keep reading for more updates, but in the meantime – long live Japan.

From the independent journalists…  The beggars of Rome felt the strain of the war this week as the prime minister left an empty tin of sardines outside his mansion beneath a rotting cardboard sign reading, “War funds for the Eritrean Front”. No word from the Vatican as of yet, but our optimistic Fascist Youth ministry intern, Linguini Vongole, remains hopeful. A few beggars attempted to riot in complaint, but were quickly and lawfully subdued by our noble police authorities. The Jesuits are infuriated; Trappists have withheld any opinion. Our brave war correspondent, reporting directly from the home offices, passed us a report just yesterday from the troops now stationed along the Ethiopian heights. “Back home, the trains may run on time, but it’s hard to be timely where there aren’t trains at all.” From this news, it is safe to assume that Il Tricolore will soon be flying proud over the villas of the cruel African oppressors: the filthy British Commonwealth. We may all rest safely, confident that this strategic action will certainly fend off the extremely large fleet and air forces now occupying the seas of our homeland. “Have no fear, good people of Italy!” Said our loving Duce during a short interview earlier this week. “Our new stealth tactics are confusing the British naval and air forces, forcing them to resort to costly ground based campaigns that they cannot hope to maintain for much longer. Our advances in Eastern Africa will further our cause tremendously. Domination will soon be ours!”
Davide Vincenzo Giacomo Mcelretta

 

 

National Day of Mourning Declared for Metz DefendersLe Monde. 28 May 1941 METZ: Months of hard fighting saw the Wehrmacht finally punch through the depleted lines of the French army. The fortress surrendered on 27 May at 11pm local time. General DeGaulle has declared today, 28 May, a national day of mourning for the fallen heroes. Having taken horrific casualties in the attempt to reduce the pocket, the German government implemented a new plan to encourage fertility to replace the stock of future soldiers. Seizing on the opportunity, German troops were seen driving aimlessly around the French countryside in silver minivans, yelling “Ve are familee menschen!” and trying to pick up French women. General Barbeque negotiated the surrender but managed to escape the clutches of the Germans after by hitching a ride in a silver minivan headed south into the newly created Vichy territory. From an undisclosed location General Barbeque (pronounced bar-BECK) related to Le Monde that “the loss of Metz is heartbreaking, but seeing all of these German soldiers trying to look cool in minivans is truly the crime here. We must free France from the depredations of German culture.”  

New Soviet Tank Introduced. TASS. 1 June 1941, MOSCOW: The Soviet military announced today that its ageing fleet of tanks is undergoing a massive program of replacement and improvement. The new ‘T-34’ and ‘KV-1’ tank series promise a new era in armored class warfare. “The bourgeois tanks of Germany, Britain, and the United States are now completely inferior to our proletarian tanks,” said Vladischrutsky Hightovsky, the Commisar for Important Soviet Affairs. “Our new tanks make the flowers fall away from the eyes of the oppressed, provide an antidote to the opium of capitalism, and shoot low-cost ammunition made from the solidified tears of the family members of executed bourgois criminals.”

Tripoli Libyarated! Frusettio Captured! Manchester Guardian. 14 June, 1941. TRIPOLI, LIBYA–Despite token resistance from Italian units besieged in the Libyan capital for months, British troops crashed forward this week and libyarated Tripoli from Italian dictator Mussohanna’s grasp. Italian Ambassador to England Giacomo Frusettio, only recently released from a POW facility in one of those Welsh towns that are impossible to pronounce, had just arrived in Tripoli mere hours before British forces flooded into the city. Recovering from the effects of Twin-Engine Fighter-Bomber Lag, Frusettio was unable to board a plane to take him to the Italian homeland before being captured by elements of the Second Australian Imperial Force. The Sydney guardsmen who found him initially thought that the short and chubby redhead was a mascot for Rodolfo Grazishelby’s troops, but once Field Marshall Wavell arrived this confusion was put to bed. At press time, Frusettio was awaiting transport back to Wales, where his former cellmates will no doubt be thrilled to see him again. With Tripoli and the surrounding countryside libyarated, and minimal Italian resistance left to mop up in North Africa, surely Rome and Berlin will come to their senses soon and cease this pointless conflict. 

New Tactic Advised: Will Royal Navy Sailors Be More Effective without Blindfolds? The Sunday Post. 22 June, 1941. WHITEHALL, LONDON–It has come as a major surprise, but our nation’s vaunted navy has been minimally effective to this point in the war. While the Royal Navy has been able to interdict Italian trade and control the Mediterranean, as well as hurl tons of metal at enemy-held coastlines in order to make land attacks more effective, our brave sailors have not been able to accomplish one of their simpler goals: the sinking of enemy vessels. That might be about to change. As has been the practice since the 1917 Battle of Jutland, British sailors and officers blindfold themselves before going into battle. This is done in order to make sure that their physical, mental, and spiritual selves are all working in conjunction with one another, rather than creating conflict. However, this simple act has another, more negative, consequence: they cannot see the ships of enemy combatants. While blindfolding has proven to be effective at facilitating “oneness” in its practicioners, it has proven just as effective at preventing them from doing any kind of damage. Because of this simple fact, Admiral of the Fleet Sir Dudley Pound has circulated a memo among his commanders insisting that they abandon the decades-old tradition of blindfolding and instead use seaplane scouts to ensure a greater likelihood of finding the enemy. It remains to be seen if this tactic will prove effective, but let’s face it: the Royal Navy’s ability to find and engage the enemy can’t get any worse, now can it?

Shocking Rumors Circulate About British Commander. BBC News: 26 June, 1941. LONDON: The British public have sustained several blows to their morale in recent weeks, the news of the fall of Paris, the constant reports of minor naval failures in the Mediterranean, and the bombing of London, to name but a few. Recent rumors, however, threaten to shock and horrify the public far more than anything that has thus far transpired in this most awful war. Three days ago, we were informed that the reputation of Admiral Lord Abbott, commander of British forces in the Mediterranean theatre, may be in serious jeopardy. Our source, which wished to remain anonymous, revealed that last month Admiral Abbott, under the guise of flying back to London for ‘top-secret reasons’, flew instead to Germany. Abbott landed at the Berlin airport, was immediately picked up by a waiting car, and travelled swiftly to Das Silbertoyota, a seedy nightclub in the heart of the city. Abbott reportedly stayed there for several hours before leaving in the early hours of the morning. He flew from Berlin to Stockholm, then to London, and finally back to Malta, in an apparent attempt to make it seem as though he really was conducting business in England. If that was all that there was to the story, then Abbott would not perhaps be in serious trouble. Just today, however, our anonymous source revealed the motivation of Abbott’s nocturnal escapades. Abbott apparently went to Das Silbertoyota on the special invitation of one of his friends, who frequents the club regularly. This friend was the German Fuehrer himself. It is claimed that Abbott met with the Fuehrer and not only exchanged cordial remarks, but also sang a duet to commemorate the occasion. Such ridiculous claims will of course be immediately put to rest, we are sure, as the British government is now conducting a special investigation into the slanderous reports. Abbott has declined all requests for comment, most likely deeply offended that anyone would believe such trash.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soviet’s Airforce Cut in Half! Soviet Planes no Match for Romanian PilotsRomanian Times: 17 January 1942. BUCHAREST: Romania, in a truly heartwarming attempt to maintain peace in Eastern Europe, had been humiliated into surrendering territory earlier in the war. However, this generous act appeared to not be enough for the greedy Soviets, who quickly sent men to the border and prepared for an invasion. This was the last step for proud Romania who quickly allied with Germany and their brilliant leader Adolf Crocker ‘The Great Aryan’ to fight off the Soviet threat. Romanian Prime Minister Tyler Antonescu embraced the German alliance and happily relinquished power of his troops to German command (until the Soviet threat can be removed). Antonescu commented saying, “I believe zat ze decision to hand over ze fate ov Romania to German command is a good von. I vully believe in the German Command and I vill be there supporting their descions and my country no vatter vat!” Antonescu’s friendliness with the Germans should come as no surprise as he has had strong ties to the German war effort; in fact, his half-brother, Petain Hines, has recently been promoted to commander of the Axis forces in France.
    Once under German command the Romanian defense forces vastly improved. Forced into the war at the start of January, the Romanian forces soon faced the first attacks of the war in the East. Romania’s defense and morale, boosted by German expertise, was superb. The Soviet attack managed to only take out a few dozen peasants, who had bravely volunteered and went to the front wielding only pitchforks and slingshots. The brave peasants allowed the Romanian troops to reorganize and set up an effective defensive line which the Soviets found impenetrable. The cream of the Soviet army was thrown against the Romanian line and were soundly defeated (including one ‘elite’ Soviet winter unit that fell prey in seconds to a unit of Romanian attack goats). Romanian ace pilots greatly contributed and struck fear into the Soviets’ hearts, shooting down half of ALL Soviet fighter squadrons (with reports that the communists were so scared that they flew their planes straight into snowy mountains and instant death, rather than square up with Romanian pilots again). Romania has and will continue to hold against the evil Soviets! Lăudați-vă Romania! Lăudați pe Germani! Lăudați pe Adolf Crocker!

Nazis & Soviets, Abandoned by Allies, Engaged in Epic Deathmatch New York Times. 16 February, 1942. ODESSA, USSR–The newly occurring war between the USSR and the Nazi German state proves that no matter how many allies and friends one has, life is ultimately an individualistic experience. Despite the fact that Nazi Germany is allied with Fascist Italy and that the Soviet Union considers itself on the same side as the United Kingdom, both Germany and Russia have been sold up the river by their respective allies, who have decided to focus on other war efforts. The British came to peace with Italy, who responded by ensuring they will not reinforce German-held territories in the West. Thus, the British have been given a free hand to engage German troops in Western Europe, while the Soviets will be facing the full weight of Italian armies by themselves. All of this means that the ensuing struggle between two titanic armies in Poland, Rumania, Finland, and elsewhere might decide the outcome of the global conflict.

Brits, Yanks Go Above & Beyond Stalhight’s Plea BBC. 9 April, 1942. BREST, FRANCE–For the last three months, Soviet leader Josmarc Stalhight has been requesting British and American intervention in Western Europe. Since the declaration of war between Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia, Stalhight has been desperately begging for intervention to peel off German troops from the Eastern Front. At the time of writing, British commander Lord Admiral Alexander d’Manbox and American Major General Austin Obenshower had opened up two major fronts in German-Occupied France, with more troops in rapid transit towards Western Europe. The overwhelming superiority of British and American troops will soon show, as will their massive advantage in weaponry, air support, and naval lift capacity.

Brits, Yanks, Feel Guilty about Moral Lapse, Expose Weakness of Capitalism, Fake Democracy BBC. 10 April 1942. BREST, FRANCE — In a subsequent private interview with Lord Admiral Alexanader d’Manbox the BBC has learned that in fact the Allied operation to liberate France was only done at the insistence of our Soviet allies, and only after the King and PM were shamed in the presence of the Soviet ambassador. “The King felt terrible about selling out his allies and making a ridiculous deal with the Italians. He knew that Great Britain would never be great again until this diplomatic and moral stain could be removed.” In an effort to ‘remove that stain’ the Admiralty in conjunction with the Royal Army agreed to step up efforts to apply pressure to the Germans in Western Europe. “We owe it to them, we do. They are fighting and dying and doing all the work. And they are winning to boot, pushing the Jerries back in Rumania! Now it is our turn!’ opined General Montgomery ‘Burns’ Crockerbott. The BBC apologizes for the misleading article that appeared previously. 

Hungarian Commander Fails to Learn Lesson, Leaves Important City Undefended Week in Review. 3 March, 1942. BUDAPEST–In the opening weeks of this conflict now known as World War II, French cavalrymen galloped into Munich and burned the city’s warehouses and factories to the ground. The German oil reserves were also destroyed, making the crucial city virtually unusable for months. Now, some 30 months later, Axis commanders have committed the same error, leaving the city of Budapest unguarded and allowing Soviet infantry forces to take control of the region and knock the Hungarian nation out of the war. Hungarian commander Dezső L’uberonszl had the following to say: “As humble servants of the mighty Nazi war machine, we Hungarians wanted to utilize the same strategy that has served our overlords so well. We allowed the enemy to strike at our major city, and in about 18 months we will take the enemy nation’s capital. Surely nothing could go wrong with this plan,” L’uberonszl said, before mysteriously and immediately vanishing along with all of his troops.

Ploesti Oil Fields Turned to the Cause of International Bolshevism TASS. 2 May 1942. CERNAUTI — In a brilliant tank maneuver not seen since last month, the Soviet army smashed the German forces north of Bucharest, liberating the rich oil fields of Ploesti. The Rumanian oil workers promptly held a democratic workplace meeting and unanimously agreed to stay on and continue working the oil fields to further the just Soviet cause. “Da sooner da Soviets vin de var, the sooner we get to join a true democracy and socialist paradise!” said Mysled Nai Eveworker, one of the Romanian oil workers and newly elected shift foremen. The stunning reversals suffered by the Axis forces in Romania are clearly evidence of the superiority of proletarian over fascist forms of dictatorship. The defection of the Hungarians last month suggests that more of the oppressed nations of Europe are ready to join the rising tide of communism.

Rumanians Protest German Occupation, Oust Ty L Ermanescu, Welcome Soviet Liberators AP Wire Service 3 June 1942. Bucharest — An estimated hundred thousand Rumanians took to the streets on 2 June to protest the illegal government of strongman Ermanescu, who was elevated to office in 1941 by German agents. Chanting the now common slogan “One, Two, Three, Four, Kick the Nazis Out the Door,” the protestors shut down the capital city of Bucharest and enabled the advancing Soviet forces to liberate the city with minimal casualties. 25,000 German prisoners were taken when the city surrendered. New “Comrade Rumanian” divisions are being formed in the Soviet army consisting of Rumanian volunteers and Rumanian officers from the previously fascist military. Said one young captain, “Our hopes for a proletarian paradise freed of the excesses of Nazi capitalism and sham democracy are finally coming true! May the Stalhight be with you!”

Western Allies Agree to Shoulder ‘Fair Share’ of War Burden Reuters. 6 June 1942. London — The PM and War Council agreed after a closed doors session this morning to step up military activity in Europe to assist their beleaguered allies in the east. A public pledge was made to free France with all possible speed and send additional aid to the Soviet Union. The USSR currently faces the larger part of the Axis military might. The moral and intellectual superiority of international communism has made it possible for the Soviets to advance despite enormous difficulties, but to hasten the end of the war and minimize needless death and suffering, Britain and her allies have agreed to “do more” in the Allied cause. Discussions have even started about breaking the so called “Pact of Traitorous Evil” (officially the “Horrible Agreement of Ridiculous Mediocrity, or ‘HARM’) that currently exists between Italy and the Commonwealth. Italy is still supporting Germany in its war against the USSR. The USA, however, refused to ratify the treaty and is still at war with Italy. President Obenvelt rejected the proposal as “deeply immoral – you do not treat your allies this way” and has stood nobly alongside the Soviet Union in its monumental struggle.   

Fascist Sabotage Revealed, Soviet Army Wins! PPN. 8 June 1942. Moscow — The People’s Party newspaper (The People must Know the Party Truth!) followed up on a lead about rumors of incompetence among the commanding officers on the Northern Front as several months of continued artillery fire failed to dislodge the German line. One of our investigative comrades, acting upon the wishes of several influential party leaders, supposedly uncovered records of a miscommunication in supply requests, causing in several tons of training ammunition to be sent to the front. The current location of the deadly ammunition remains unknown, and both the evidence and our journalist are unavailable for an undisclosed period of time: “on Party business.” We were given a the name of the loyal comrade who signed the transportation manifest, but are now unable to disclose it since it appears that he no longer exists. However, the situation now being rectified in the light of Truth, as cast by our noble Party leaders, the mighty proletariat eagerly expects victorious news from the front!

Daring Communist Soldiers Display Superiority of Socialism TASS 28 July 1942. Near Belgrade Southern Front HQ — In what will no doubt be remembered as the turning point of this great war for the rights of the international proletariat, the Red Army smashed joint German/Italian forces in central Rumania and in eastern Yugoslavia to complete a classic encirclement of Axis forces in the Carpathian mountains. Crack Red airborne units surprised the Italians under General Shelli Balbanna, utterly destroying them in two days of battle. Although a German counterattack was fended off resulting in the valiant death of most of the Red paratroopers, it was enough to allow the Red Army attacking from the north to penetrate the Axis lines and effect a breakthrough. Meanwhile, in Yugoslavia, Soviet armor shattered joint Italian and German forces defending near Belgrade. Despite heavy Axis air support and the personal command of General Guderian over the German forces, the Red Army would not be denied the victory over the fascist capitalists. The armor pushed northward, completing the envelopment, and even captured General Guderian himself! As the Soviet tanks advanced Guderian himself personally surrendered to the Red Army, loudly proclaiming “The blood of fascism has fallen from my eyes, I too am a proletarian in the fight for international communism now!”