WiF – Attack of the New

Spring 2026 Campaign

Germany: Daniel Garrison
Japan: Grant Collins
Italy: Harlow Thompson

USA/China: Thurn Martin
USSR: Emmett Adams
Commonwealth/FF: Watson Grabar /  Hight

Bids

Agreed: straight up game! All bids are zero. 

 

War Report

Sept/Oct 1939: The conflagration begins. The Poles mostly huddle around Warsaw and Lodz, but that does not stop the Wehrmacht from successfully assaulting Warsaw first impulse. The Polish air force chooses the cowardly route, setting up far away from the battles in central Poland. Italy quietly watches events and Japan shifts forces to both southern and northern China.
  Impulse #2: The Allies declare war on Germany and shockingly the US approves (no entry penalty). The CW takes a naval and immediately shifts most of their naval forces to… the Med? No BEF on boats to France, instead troops head for warmer weather. The French pull in the Moroccans to defend France. China holds the line. The USSR has a heavy deployment on the Rumanian border.
  Impulse #3: The French inexplicably leave a gap in the southern Maginot line and a German corps seizes the opportunity, breaking the line. The weather is clear, so the Germans also finish the Poles, taking Lodz on a +19 assault. The Italians are quiet, and so are the Japanese, who are concentrating forces around Si-an. 
  Impulse #4: The French rearrange to plug the gap in the south, but without any help from the British, their line is thin. The Soviets annex the Baltic States, but no one cares. The British continue relocating forces to the Med theatre.
  Impulse #5: The weather sours. The Germans automatically kill an isolated Polish corps and send units streaming west. The Japanese activate Siam as a minor without entry penalty. No peep from the Italians.
  Impulse#6: The Allies try to end the turn and all pass, but the attempt fails.
  Impulse #7: The weather clears again. The Germans declare war on Denmark, taking it without resistance. Japan has built up forces in the north, but as many of them are flipped, the army waits to reorganize and resupply. 
  Impulse #8: Since the turn did not end for the Axis, the Allies try again, passing and this time ending the turn. 
  The US sends resources to China and occupies Greenland, with one tension chit. No partisans appear.

Nov/Dec 1939: The Allies win initiative and go first. The weather starts out muddy and rainy. The CW shift naval forces from the Pacific to the Med and more forces shift around Gibraltar to Egypt and Malta. The French try to hold a line and the weather helps, but the front looks tenuous. China holds the line.
  Impulse #2: The Germans and Japanese both use the impulse to shift forces and no action takes place.
  Impulse #3: The weather remains muddy and snowy in Europe. The Allies quietly await Axis aggression. 
  Impulse #4: Even in the snow, the Germans declare war on the Netherlands, easily overpowering the nation. Most of the navy and the Dutch FTR escape, however. The US is offended by the aggression, however. Japan and Italy continue to exercise patience.
  Impulse #5: All of the Allies except the CW pass, while the CW uses the impulse to shift aircraft. The turn, however, does not end. 
  Impulse #6: The Germans push their army, now fully in the west, to the Belgian and French borders, but no action occurs. The Italians remain out of the war. 
  Impulse #7: The weather partially clears and the Allies fearfully attempt to pass to deny the Germans a winter clear turn. They succeed and the turn ends. 
  The US starts Chinese aircraft and interns the Bearn, taking a TRS. One tension chit is generated. No partisans occur.

Jan/Feb 1940: The Allies win initiative and when the Axis do not demand a reroll, the Allies go first. The weather starts and remains muddy with occasional snow. The CW starts with a naval and France brings the Senegalese corps to France. The Soviets position on the Rumanian border and the Chinese hold a fragile line. 
  Impulse #2: The Germans declare war on Belgium and, despite the snow take Liege and Brussels in one impulse, with a +14 assault succeeding without loss (the other being an automatic). The Japanese attack a single CAV in the southern mountains of China, flipping but taking the hex without loss (-/1 on a +12 assault). The Italians are still quiet.
  Impulse #3: The Soviets demand Bessarabia and the Germans pressure the Rumanians to cede the territory to their erstwhile ally. The French push forward a hex into Belgium, but their line (without any BEF) is thin and largely without any reserves behind the line. 
  Impulse #4: The Germans back Hungarian and Bulgarian claims on Rumanian territory. The Axis generally just reposition in the poor weather and no action occurs.
  Impulse #5: A quiet impulse. The Chinese move some communists forward. 
  Impulse #6: Germany takes a naval and aligns Hungary as an active minor (the US does not care). German SUBs and surface raiders scour the seas but find no CW convoys. Italy remains quiet and the Japanese shift forces to southern China. The turn then ends.
  No PARTs appear. The US selects no options and February ends with a whimper.

Mar/April 1940: The Axis win initiative and go first, but the weather starts and stays muddy throughout the turn. Germany starts by aligning Bulgaria and takes a combined to push SUBs out, but no convoys are found. The Japanese take a +12 assault in southern China and succeed without loss, seizing a Chinese RES in the forest hex on the rail line. Italy remains quiet.
  Impulse #2: The French pray for bad weather and for their training regimen to complete quickly to field more forces. The CW defend convoy lines. Surprisingly, no CW forces–not even air forces–move to assist the French at all, including in impulses where there are no German FTRs available for air cover. Could the King have made a faustian pact with Hitison? 
  Impulses 3 through 5 — the Germans raid convoys and fail, and push up land and aircraft on the new line in Belgium. The CW and France are quiet do little. China adjusts to its losses, holding a thin line, especially in the south. The turn ends impulse 5. No PARTs appear, and the US adopts Selective Service.

May/June 1940:  The Axis secure initiative, but must demand a reroll to get it. The weather starts clear except in the north monsoon, where it rains. The Italians enter the war, declaring on the CW and France. In their naval action, they find convoys in the Cape Verde Coast, eliminating the French and one CW CONV while aborting several others. Two other naval searches fail. The Germans decide the French should be no more, and drop a chit (Rundstedt). Three attacks are made, all of which are successful. In the north a +10 blitz blows a hole (*/1B) north of Lille. In the center the French ARM is bashed as the +11 blitz is pure success (*/2B). In the south, the Germans achieve another breakout just across the Maginot, but they do lose the PARA in the attempt (1/1). The face down units are all reorganized. The French line looks like Swiss cheese. The Japanese, not to be outdone, take a +11 assault on Chengchow, taking the city without loss (*/2S) and control their troops (no US entry). 
  Impulse #2: The British take a naval, but not to help their allies (? not sure what to call them). They hunt Italians and find one group, damaging 2 Italian CAs to the loss of one damaged CW cruiser. The Red Sea flotilla is also found and destroyed, leaving the British rear to the Suez secure. The French pull back with the forces they have and push an INF DIV into the line on the border with Italy. The Chinese line does not look better, but there is still a line!
  Impulse #3: The weather clears–even in the north monsoon and the Japanese are gleeful. They move units without flipping in the south, preparing for another attack there. The Italians assault and trade losses with the French in the alps, but take a critical hex in the mountains (flipped). The Germans decide to double down on their success and drop a second offensive chit (von Bock). Three more attacks. A +17 blitz routs the French south of Lille while a +9 blitz north of Lille removes the northern flank without loss on a successful blitz. The only mild disappointment was an assault on Metz, which succeeds but at cost (2/2 with a loss of a PARA DIV and ENG). Thus, by the end of only the 2nd impulse, most of the French army has evaporated.
  Impulse #4: The French fall back in a huddle around Paris, hoping for bad weather. The British have aircraft which could bomb the German lines, but refuse to do so. The CW takes a combined and shifts a few units. There is a sizable British force and both CW HQs in Egypt, defending a line by Alexandria. The Soviets start shifting some units back to what looks to be a line on the Dniepr River.
  Impulse #5: To add insult to French and Chinese injury, the weather is clear world-wide. The Germans take a land and continue the attack. A +7 blitz north of Paris and a +11 blitz south of Paris are both completely successful. The noose tightens on Paris. The Japanese the assault the second RES in southern China on a +8 attack and take it without loss, killing Chang. The Italians seize Fr. Somalialand. 
  Impulse #6: The French have had enough and decide to fight back. Taking a combined to put the northern forward flank of the Germans out of supply, they surge forward and kill a German AT unit to keep that northern flank out of supply for an impulse. The CW also take a combined and hunt Italians in the Med, trying to strangle the Libyan forces, but no combat occurs. The Chinese shift to fill the line, but it is thin in the south.
  Impulse #7: More clear weather and the Germans keep attacking. After moving to re-establish supply, A +17 and +18 blitz each clear two hexes near Paris (granting supply to the rest of the forward army), but a +8 assault (lowered due to French TAC clearing) takes a hex but flips much of the central German army (1/1). The Germans get 5 hexes around Paris. The Italians take Br. Somalialand. The Japanese shift forces south.
  Impulse #8: The French, emboldened by their actions which slightly delayed the Wehrmacht, attack north out of Lille. The attack fails (1/1) but kills a German INF. That plus another move again puts part of the forward German army out of supply.  The CW hunt Italians again, and again fail to find them. The Soviets start forming a line (?) along the Dniepr. 
  Impulse #9: The turn won’t seem to end. The Germans take a land, but spend 2 chit points to send the mighty Schliesen to establish naval supply to Rouen. The brave French navy, however, spots the slow battleship, sinking it with all hands and keeping the forward northern flank out of supply. The Italians send a CA of their won into the Eastern Med to establish supply to Libya, but the Brits find and sink it. The Germans decide to re-establish supply the old fashioned way (directly over land) and so assault Lille. The +9 assault is ideally done (rolled ’18’) and the city’s defenders are eliminated without loss. The Japanese are quiet, moving a few units in the south of China. 
  Impulse #10: Why won’t the turn end cry the Allies? But they cannot afford to pass. The CW reinforce the Med, trying to keep the Libyan force out of supply. They now groundstrike and flip some units, moving land forces to the frontier. The Brits then attack the Italians from the south, and the successful automatic blitz pockets the Italians around Tobruk. The CW also manage to sink the Italian CONV in the Italian Coast. The French hold on.
  Impulse #11: The Germans take a combined and use their subs to hunt convoys, but fail to find anything. They complete the encirclement of Paris but choose not to take a low odds assault (would have been +5). The Italians sneak another CA into the E. Med, and this time manage to sneak supplies to Tobruk undetected. The Japanese drool over options in China if the weather clears in the south. 
  Finally, the turn ends, shifting initiative towards the Allies (+1). No PARTs appear and the US selects Gift DDs to the British, who immediately use it to fund an AMPH program. 

July/August 1940: The Allies win initiative and elect to go first. The weather finds it clear everywhere except the north monsoon. In an unusual act of cooperation, the British bomb several hexes of German armor west of Paris, flipping one MECH. This unit is then attacked by French armor reinforcements just arrived. The French manage to liberate one hex on Paris while annihilating the MECH. The CW, taking a combined, also sinks the Italian CA in the E. Med and attacks Italians in Tobruk, killing them all without loss on a +17 blitz. The Italians in eastern Libya are in trouble, but still hold Bardia. China reinforces near Kunming and filters communist reinforcements in the northern line.
  Impulse #2: The Germans ground strike Paris, but vicious French AA prevents anything from being disorganized. The Germans elect to wait to attack, instead rebasing more TAC to within range of Paris. The Italians take a land action and start organizing a defense of Italy. The Japanese look to shift to a northern campaign, but the line is not well suited to that, so not much happens.
  Impulse #3: The Brits blitz (+12) and kill another hex of Italians, leaving only Bardia in Italians hands, face-up but out of supply. The French post another fleet in the North Sea, but there is not a lot left of the French army. The Chinese hold the line and the Soviets pull Zhukov to Europe, away from Siberia.
  Impulse #4: The Germans launch an air blitz, and a DIV and one corps are flipped in Paris. With von Bock in support, the Germans attack with a +12 assault, but the French elan is too much for the Germans, and the attack fails (1/1 result), flipping most of the army. 7 corps are reflipped, but there are reinforcements waiting outside Paris, so the hex winds up actually increasing in strength on the subsequent Allied turn. German morale visibly suffers, even though they are in complete command of the theatre. Italy tries a daring sea-rescue, moving its main fleet and 2 TRS to collect the units in Bardia. Not only do they evacuate the troops, in the subsequent impulse, they successfully safely abort out and back to Italy. Some call it the “Italian Dunkerque,” mainly because the British did not send troops to help the French this war. Japan is quiet, managing the front.
  Impulse #5: The UK takes a naval to catch the Italians, but fail to find anything. A large fleet is posted in the Italian coast. The French move their ARM into Paris, replacing the loss. China holds the line.
  Impulse #6: A quiet impulse, with Germany and Italy trying to raid convoys. No convoy losses occur.
  Impulse #7: The UK invade Rhodes, killing a face-down Italian TAC that rebased there earlier. British MECH takes Benghazi. The French push up reinforcements from Bordeaux, but they are slow. Otherwise, the French take to taunting the Germans surrounding Paris (probably not a good idea…). The Chinese hold the line.
  Impulse #8: The Germans opt not to take a low odds attack against Paris and instead crush the one French hex west of Paris, killing two units to no loss (+13 blitz). The Italians abort their rescue fleet (previous impulse). The Japanese are cautious and make no attacks.
  Impulse #9: The French navy sorties in the Med, and sinks one Italian old BB to the loss of one CA. The southern reinforcements attack von Bock, but to no effect (-/-). The British push westward in Libya. China holds the line.
  Impulse #10: The Germans go convoy hunting and strike paydirt, discovering that the British are not escorting the Mid-Atlantic. Of the 11 CONV there, 6 are sunk and 5 are aborted, crushing the CW economy… because the turn then ends. 
  Two Chinese PARTs appear, including one on Hainan as the Japanese had just moved the unit with a ZOC away. The other appears in northern China. The US selects no entry options.

Sept/Oct 1940: The Axis win initiative and the weather starts completely clear (rolled ‘4’). The Germans ground strike Paris, flip everything, and take the city on a +14 assault. Meanwhile, the Japanese kill the PART on Hainan and position elsewhere in China for more attacks in the south. The Italians position troops around Italy, not attempting to reinforce Libya.
  Impulse #2: The Germans might think that the French are done, but the French do not think so. They start consolidating what few forces they have for attacks designed to push towards Paris. This impulse not much happens. The CW take a land and push the desert force from Tobruk closer to Tripoli, with one MECH reaching the outskirts of the city. The Chinese hold the line.
  Impulse #3: The Germans immediately move forces eastwards out of France. A friendly warning is issued, but the Germans now have other prey in mind. The Italians post a fleet in the E. Med and a CONV in the Italian coast with a few escorts. The Japanese kill the other Chinese PART and assault the Chinese in the southern mountains, taking the hex without loss on a +14 assault.
  Impulse #4: The French and British cooperate (shockingly) in a naval mission that finds and sinks an Italian CA to the loss of one British CA damaged. The Brits defend convoys and repair damaged lines from the previous turn. The Chinese still have a line, although it looks thinner in the south.
  Impulse #5: The weather turns sour and muddy. The Germans are still busy evacuating France, and Paris is no longer surrounded by rings of corps. All of the German corps are being moved to Poland except a few heading to Hungary. The Japanese slow down their advance in China with the poor weather. Italy is cautious and tries to hold on to its CONV to maximize its economy.
  Impulse #6: The French contemplate an attack, but the bad weather precludes the venture. Instead, the CW and French continue to cooperate, sinking 2 more Italian CAs in the Med. The Soviets are building a line along the Dniepr River. 
  Impulse #7: The weather clears. The Germans continue to empty France, confident of their victory. An armored HQ is left along on a face-down TAC, but the French ignore it as it does not lie in the path to Paris. The Italians expand their holdings in Africa, pushing into Kenya. The Japanese are also relatively quiet after a vigorous start to the turn.
  Impulse #8: Seeing the dearth of defenders, the French hatch a plan to boldly retake Paris. In stage 1, they attack just east of Paris. A +2 assault, fueled by French elan, succeeds, clearing the way to Paris (1/2S). The Germans grumble about absurd French plans, but hope runs high in the French army. The British take another land and push more corps towards Tripoli, now pushing units to surround the territorial capital. The Chinese shuffle the communist line, but all is pretty much status quo. 
  Impulse #9: Another clear weather turn for the Axis. Germany reinforces Paris (adding a second unit) but still does not respect the French, despite the successful counterattack last impulse. Japan and Italy are quiet. It turns out that the Germans were right, as the turn ends and a collaborationist Vichy government is installed.
  No partisans appear, the US selects no options. Most of the territories go Vichy except Indo-China, West Africa, Equatorial Africa, and the Pacific territories. DeGaulle enters the game and the Free French select Senegal as their new capital. 

Nov/Dec 1940: The Allies win initiative but elect to make the Axis go first. The weather starts snowy and muddy. The Germans activate the Rumanians as a minor ally and immediately start sending troops into the theatre. The Soviets watch nervously. Italy takes the Kenyan capital, continuing to expand in Africa. The CW finally talk about maybe sending forces there. Maybe. The Japanese on a combined reinforce China, but with the poor weather, no action occurs.
  Impulse #2: The CW take a naval and set up strong naval forces around the Med. France is abuzz with stories of heroism and how Petain betrayed the Republic, given that the spearhead driving for Paris was about to liberate the city when he capitulated and surrendered the French army. The US was outraged at the surrender of the French and the drum beat of war can be heard in some corridors in Washington D.C. DeGaulle appeals to the British to come collect his forces in Senegal, but the British currently pay him little heed.
  Impulse #3: The weather clears slightly, but the rains dominate Europe. The Germans loose their SUBs, sinking 2 CONV and aborting others in the Africa convoy line around Cape Verde. The Italians are more conservative with their navy, having lost several cruisers the previous month. Japan is quiet, but shifting forces in China.
  Impulse #4: The CW debate repairing their convoy lines versus attacking the Italians, and ultimately decide to take a land and assault Tripoli. The attack (+20 by the end) is successful; the Brits take Tripoli without loss. The FF hatch cunning plans to invade France and liberate the nation. China holds the line. The USSR watches their western border get greyer with an accumulation of Wehrmacht units. But Hitlerson would surely not attack an ally, right?
  Impulse #5: The Germans continue to push land units eastward, although some remain in France to pacify the angry countryside. The Italians defend more of their key coastal cities. The Japanese push more units into southern China, but the weather is not conducive to attacks. The turn then ends, much to the dismay of the CW, who has unrepaired gaps in their convoy lines.
  The US wakes up, selects resources to the USSR and reduces Japanese resources; both actions produce tension. 

Jan/Feb 1941: The Allies win initiative, but force the Axis to move first. The weather starts snowy. The Germans push units into Rumania and Poland, clearly in preparation for some kind of celebration with their communist ally. Italy raids convoys, but fails to find anything. Japan sets up for an offensive in southern China.
  Impulse #2: The CW bomb Germany and occupied territories, taking one BP from Brussels. The Soviets have a line that runs along the Dniepr River, up through Gomel, and then around Vitebsk. It looks thin, but the Russians are hardy. The Chinese hold the line. The Brits do rush an Indian INF to Kenya to stop the Italians from rampaging unopposed down Africa.
  Impulse #3: The weather stays cold, except in the N. Monsoon, where the Japanese launch a +10 assault against Chang-Sha that is surprisingly successful (-/2S). Their troops are additionally well-controlled, causing no outrage in the US. The Germans take a combined and hit CW lines, sinking several CONV and aborting more. 
  Impulse #4: The CW repairs its convoy lines, but has few in reserve now. Additional bombing takes 1 BP from Cologne. The rest of the Allies quietly await developments as the CW fights alone. DeGaulle screams for transportation out of Africa and into an active theatre.
  Impulse #5: The weather ‘clears’ to muddy. The Germans push forces to the east, the Italians distribute troops around Italy. The Japanese, happy with their new line, start shifting MAR troops to the coast.
  Impulse #6: A quiet impulse. The turn then ends. The US selects Ed Murrow reports but no tension is generated. No PARTs appear, much to the relief of the Japanese. 

Mar/Apr 1941: The Axis win initiative and elect to go first. The weather starts stormy and remains that way through the turn. Germany starts with a combined, but instead of sending subs out, the main surface fleet posts out in the Baltic, performing ‘exercises’ off the coast of the Baltics. The Italians raid with their subs, but secure no kills. The Japanese are now more clearly committed to re-arranging their lines in China, as DIVs and MARs are pulled out of the lines. 
  Impulse #2: The CW take a naval but also bomb Germany again in the rain, taking 1 BP from Leipzig and 1 RES from France. The Germans mutter something about promises from Goering, and over the course of the turn rebase several FTRs to cover their industries. During the naval, a massive British fleet appears in the W. Med, including AMPHs and TRS all loaded with troops. 
  Impulse #3: After some discussion, the Germans successfully lobby to redress an oversight, allowing Vichy to build and place an INF corps. He does so and then moves it secure the French Med coast. This move essentially ends the possibility of a British invasion there. The Chinese, still reeling from the loss of Chang-Sha, hold the line. The Soviets declare “peace day with Germany,” safe in the knowledge that the Germans would never break their pact. Germany this impulse takes a combined and sends their subs out. The wolfpacks do serious damage, sinking 4 CW CONV and aborting 3 others to the loss of one SUB sunk.
  Impulse #4: The Brits lack CONV in the right places to repair the convoy lines, so they take a combined and set up to hopefully repair lines next turn. De Gaulle does get picked up from Africa, headed to parts unknown. The Chinese hold the line while the Americans mysteriously start reinforcing the Hawaiian Islands.
  Impulse #5: Continued muddy weather sees a quiet turn, with German tinkering in the east and Italians raiding convoys (to no effect). The Japanese slowly pull units out of China, most of which are going to Siam. The turn then ends.
  No PARTs appear again, although Malaysian insurgents nearly organize against the British, threatening the critical rubber supply. The US freezes Japanese assets and also offers resources to Western Allies, both of which generate tension. 

May/June 1941: Despite all the Allied preparation and having the maximal bonuses, the Allies lose the initiative roll and lose the reroll as well. The Axis elect to go first. The weather, however, does not cooperate, and it is rainy in the arctic zone. The Germans decide that rain or not, Joseph ‘Eamon’ Stadams must go. The Germans break their pact and (with the Italians) declare war on the USSR. The US is upset, but only a little. The Soviets are mostly set up at a distance from the front, but in the first impulse the Germans crush Soviet forward corps defending Cernauti and other places in Moldova. The Wehrmacht grinds forward in the rain in the north, heading towards the Soviet defensive line. The PARA invades (!) in Estonia. Finland is called into the war, but they merely dig in north of St. Petersburg. Italy hunts CONVs and secures a minor win (sinking 1 CONV). 
  Impulse #2: The Soviets call out their reserves and mostly… sit and wait for the Germans to come. The CW takes a naval and sets up another large fleet loaded with AMPH and TRS in the W. Med again. The CW also try to port strike some Italian subs in Trapani, but FTR cover from the Italians shoots down the NAV. The Brits do manage to take 2 BPs from Dortmund in strategic bombing. De Gaulle awaits action on a TRS in the W. Med. The Chinese hold the line and the Americans watched bemusedly.
  Impulse #3: The weather clears and the Germans unleash. In the south, the Germans attack Odesa at +16 and take the city without loss after shooting down a Soviet TAC. In the north, they take Vilno on another +16 attack, again without loss. The main army pushes into western Russia and north into the Baltics, surrounding Riga and pushing up against Minsk. The Italians eye the CW suspiciously in the W. Med. The Japanese continue to reorganize and reinforce Siam.
  Impulse #4: The Soviets remember to rail factories out, sending Kiev past the Urals. They elect to hold the river line they originally formed. A new fort complex arrived, placed in Dnepropetrovsk. The CW finally pull the trigger, electing to invade Sicily. A +18 assault takes Trapani without loss. Alexander leads the charge. The Chinese extend the line to protect against the Japanese attacking Free France in Indo-China. 
  Impulse #5: The Germans are disappointed when the weather turns back to mud, this time in both the arctic and the temperate zones. The Germans elect to push up their forces and rebase planes forward, not attacking. Italy streams units south, needing to hold on to its factories. Japanese continues the slow process of organizing for another conflict… is war with the US on the horizon?
  Impulse #6: The Soviets oddly decide to abandon Kiev, leaving a single flipped INFF corps to hold the city, hoping against hope that the turn will end. It does not. Vitebsk is railed eastward. No attacks are made, but the Soviets brace for the full weight of the Wehrmacht. The CW surges forward in Sicily (clear in the Med…) and takes Messina and overruns a face-down Italian FTR (revenge for the loss of the NAV…).  De Gaulle comes off the boar to help liberate the island. Some US subs rebase to Pearl. 
  Impulse #7: The turn continues and the weather clears again. The Germans assault Kiev, Krivoy Rog, and Riga. The attack on Kiev causes the Germans to lose an INF, but the others (all at +15 or higher) are successes. Germany takes the resource rich hex and clears resistance in the Baltics. The Soviets have lost a bit over 30 BPs of units in the turn. The Italians set up a defensive line south of Taranto in the mountains. The Japanese are quiet. 
  Impulse #8: The turn continues and the Allies debate passing, but two weaknesses in the Soviet lines force the Allies to play and hope for the turn to end. The Russian fix some weak spots and otherwise dig in behind the Dnieper. The British push across the Messina Straits and clear the rest of Sicily. More strategic bombing takes 2 RES from the Germans. The Chinese hold the line, which, in the mountains, looks reasonable for once. The US glowers from the sidelines.
  The turn does in fact end. The US relocates the fleet to Pearl and then extends lend least to the Allies. Both generate tension! Could gear up and global war soon be upon us? No PARTs appear (again, the Axis have been quite fortunate overall…). 

Jul/Aug 1941: The Allies win initiative on bold Soviet die rolling and go first. The weather, of course, remains clear the entire turn (except in the N. Monsoon). The Soviets start by holding a line along the Dniepr and hedgehogging in the north, holding Gomel, Minsk, Pskov, and Leningrad. They rail the Dnepr factory out to the Urals. The CW take a naval and post a large fleet off the coast of Italy, loaded with troops on TRS and AMPH. The US, having opted to relocate the fleet, slowly send ships to the Pacific. 
  Impulse #2: The Germans lurch forward, making two attacks to try and blitz across the river to isolate the main army. The northern attack succeeds (+15 blitz) but the southern attack gains the river at the cost of a mech DIV. Nonetheless, two stacks of high quality Soviets units are isolated. Zhukov was bashed in the northern attack.  The Italians rearrange NAV and FTRs in Italy, but do not come out to challenge the British (yet). The Japanese have a quiet turn, slowly moving units to ports, clearly setting up for something seriously nefarious.
  Impulse #3: The CW pull Yugoslavia into the war, having 4 corps in Italy. They immediately push into Pola in northern Italy and British troops land to reinforce. Two more corps and 2 DIVs land as well in the center and southern ports. The Yugoslavians enter Hungary and kill an unsuspecting DIV, but fail to put the German forces in Hungary out of supply. The Germans saw this coming but elected not to attack first. The Yugo CAV sweeps behind and takes Bratislava. The Chinese hold the line. The Soviets keep the line in the south, but north near Kiev they pull off the line and try to save the isolated corps. Kharkov is railed to the Urals.
  Impulse #4: Happy time for the Germans in the USSR, who take a +17 blitz and crush one stack of Soviets, putting the central units out of supply again. Armored units snake northward, taking Soviet cities but spreading out. The Germans assault to retake Bratislava, and they do, but the Yugoslavia cavalry men exact a heavy price (2/1) on the assault.  A SS Mech takes Zagreb unopposed. More quiet unit shifting in China. Italy, however, shifts to the offensive, sending all of their NAV (3 of them) and their navy into the Italian Coast… only to find nothing. 
  Impulse #5: The Brits reinforce the Italian coast with a long range FTR. That plus their carriers gives them a healthy edge in the air, if that were worth anything. The Italian surface surprises the Brits, sinking 1 SUB and 2 CAs to the loss of 3 damaged Italian CAs. The naval loss is stinging, but the Brits hold on in the sea zone. Naval combat then ends. The Brits push inland towards Zagreb and the Prince Paul HQ extend slightly in to Rumania to deal with a pesky TAC that the Germans have sent over, causing it rebase. The US send units to Pearl. The Soviets regroup, holding the river south of Dnepr, but falling back towards Kharkov in the north. They leave one meaty stack of Soviet units out of supply and another flipped in the open plains.
  Impulse #6: The Germans annihilate the isolated stack and the flipped unit and surge forward. More ARM and other units snake north, where there are basically no Soviet defenders. In the north, they assault Pskov at +9, which goes badly, flipping the entire army to the loss of the PARA. The Soviets promote their first Guards Banner unit. The Italians search the Brits again, but no combat occurs. More quiet maneuvering from the Japanese.
  Impulse #7: The Soviets rail Tula to the Urals and start defending isolated cities in central Russia. The defenders are scattered in the center, although they hold a line of sorts in the south and around Pskov. They contemplate a counterattack, but terrain and rivers work against them and they abort the attack. The Brits go on the offensive, and finally find the Italians with their air forces in the Med. Two of the Italian NAVs are shot down and the British carriers sink 2 Italian cruisers. In a subsequent round, another CW cruiser is sunk, but the Italians are largely aborted and whittled down; they abandon the sea zone. An Italian TRS was there with the Albanian TER, and it aborts to Tirana. The Brits then march from Yugoslavia and assault Tirana at +15, but the attack is partly botched. The city is taken, but the Brits lose a DIV (1/2). 
  Impulse #8: The turn won’t end and disaster strikes. The Soviets were not aware just how fast the lead panzer elements are, and the Germans take Moscow unopposed as the city was not defended. Celebrations erupt in Berlin. Everyone expected purges and accountability in the Soviet Army, but Stadams refused to engage in further purges. The German army is quite spread out in central USSR, often holding some areas with surprisingly few corps, especially in the south.
Italy now turns to defend coastal areas and reinforces the line across the boot anchored in Taranto. 
  Impulse #9: The Soviets counter-attack in the south, killing a lone Rumania INF without loss. They have no suitable unit to promote, but the south looks sparse. They also manage to cut the supply line of the Germans heading north briefly. The CW advance towards Zagreb and push the INF surviving from the attack of Tirana northwards towards Bulgaria. The German have occupied both of the Yugoslavian RES and are holding on to them. The CW do strategically bomb the entire turn, but miss every single mission (6 raids total). 
  Impulse #10: The Germans are thin, but mount an attack on Tula which has a single face-down Soviet corps. The attack succeeds (+11 but 1/1 result), but it flips the attackers, setting up a difficult situation. The German line from north of Kiev all the way up to Moscow is thin and incomplete. The Italians defend and the Japanese finalize their preparations for the next phase of the war.
  Impulse #11: The Soviets pounce on the overextended supply lines, killing an ART unit and managing to blitz forward to cut off all the Germans from just across the Dniepr to Moscow. The remaining German forces in the Kiev area are… few. The Soviets pray for the turn to end. The Brits meanwhile cut Zagreb out of supply and disorganize the SS Mech defenders. The ensuing +11 assault is costly (2/1) but frees the city and rationalizes the Allied line in Yugoslavia. Then the turn does not end.
  Impulse #12: The Germans are worried about re-establishing supply and not giving the Soviets a chance to cut them off again before reorganizing. They persuade the Japanese and Italians to pass while they take a land and attack the weak Soviet element keeping a large bit of the German army out of supply. Mustering what forces they have, the Germans assault a Mech DIV at +9… and suffer the horrible (2/1) result. They clear the hex, but no units survive to advance and establish supply. To make matters worse, the turn ends, leaving a healthy portion of the German army strung out (and many of them out of supply). 
  The US imposes am embargo on the Japanese, which prompts outrage from Tokoyo. They lend authorize lend lease to the USSR. Both produce tension and the US looks pleased with himself. PARTs then appear in China, taking Hainan and forcing a TRS to rebase. 

Sept/Oct 1941: To the Axis disappointment, the Allies win initiative, allowing the Soviets to take advantage of the isolated string of Wehrmacht forces stretching from Kiev all the way to Moscow. To add insult to injury, the weather roll is clear everywhere (rolled ‘2’). The Germans make it difficult, adding defensive air support, but four Soviet attacks (+11 assault, +13 and +15 blitz, and an automatic blitz). The Soviet attacks kill 1 HQ, 2 MECH, a TAC, an ART, and an INF. Although the Soviets lose no units, two of the attacks cause half of their units to flip. Critically, two promotions to Guards Banner are made. Meanwhile, the Brits take a naval and send a large fleet off the Italian Coast again, loaded with more units and FTRs. The Chinese hold the line and the US relocates more ships to Hawaii.
  Impulse #2: The Japanese take a naval and send a huge carrier fleet off the coast of Hawaii. In addition, naval forces spread out across the Pacific, loaded with troops. The Germans regroup and mount a +17 blitz counterattack that allows an ARM to return to the front lines after it is successful. Units in the north completely encircle Pskov and a makeshift line is established from the entrance to Crimea north along the Dniepr River. The Italians shift to reinforce the north where the British have a growing force just east of Trieste.
  Impulse #3: The Soviets rail another factory east, still uncertain of the front. A +14 assault reclaims an isolated Tula from a MECH, but the attackers are half flipped. The Soviets now have a line again, but nearly half of the units are flipped. The Brits land corps in Yugoslavia, pull Yugo units back to defend Zagreb, and a MAR sneaks across the bay to add another hex around Trieste. Wavell lands from a TRS to reinforce the new beachhead. The Chinese are quiet and the US sends more ships to Pearl Harbor.
  Impulse #4: Everyone thought the Japanese were posturing, but it was not so. Japan declares war on the US, CW and Free France, taking a super-combined action. They strike Pearl, sinking both CVs there (Enterprise and Saratoga) and 4 CONV, but inflict no surface ships losses otherwise. Surprise invasion forces take Rabaul, Guadalcanal, Legaspi (Philippines), Malaya, the Tarakan and Balikpapan oil fields, Madura (on Java), Wake Island, Guam, and Hong Kong. Units from southern China slide over and assault Hanoi, taking it from the FF without loss. The aggressive explosion was a complete success. Meanwhile, the Germans show resiliency, ground striking two hexes (both with newly promoted Guards units), flipping them all, and promptly putting them out of supply. Four Soviet corps disappear in two +19 blitz attacks, including some of their best units. The German line is essentially re-established. The slugfest continues! Italy sends reinforcements towards Trieste, seeking to strengthen the hex.
  Impulse#5: The weather worsens slightly (clear except arctic and n. monsoon). The Soviets rail Gorki to Tomsk and try to cluster around cities to keep supply. The orgy of death stops for the turn. The CW takes a combined to save some CONV from Japanese predation and slowly shifts units in Yugoslavia, relinking one RES there to a factory. The Chinese hold the line, which has now become stalemated as Japanese forces are elsewhere. The US try to hunt some Japanese cruisers, but fail to find anything.
  Impulse #6: The Axis have a quiet turn. Germany takes a combined to grab up two Finnish corps with a TRS and AMPH and land them in the north. Italy improves the defense of Trieste, and Japan pushes additional forces in the NEI and Malaya, taking Singapore. The turn then sadly ends at its first possibility, to the dismay of the CW.
  The US passes Gear Up but no PARTs appear.

Nov/Dec 1941: The Allies win initiative and go first, and the weather is surprisingly clear (rolled ‘3’ clear in temperate, rainy in the arctic). The CW take a naval and post large fleets in the North Sea and again off the coast of Italy. Each fleet has AMPH and/or TRS loaded with troops. The US sends its units on the East Coast to the UK and TRS are sent to pull a MECH and INF from Iceland. The Brits are relieved to have the help. China holds the line. The Soviets, however, surprisingly decide to ease up on the attacks and seek to establish a series of hedgehogs around cities that, in total, look like a line of sorts. The Germans still have an isolated MECH in Moscow, but now the connection to the front German line has been seriously cut. The Soviets rail Rostov to Krasnyorsk. 
  Impulse #2: Seeing the US actively preparing for the European front, Germany and Italy declare war on the US. Global war it is! Only Japan and the USSR are not at war. The Germans are quiet, reinforcing the Yugoslavian front and the Eastern Front, solidifying a line. An addition corps heads to Italy, to join two others currently there. Italy takes a combined and uses their remaining SUB to raid British convoys in the Western Med. Despite air cover, the sneaky Italians sink the CW CONV to no loss, not even an abort. The Japanese land more units in the NEI on Java and more units on Luzon in the Philippines.  
  Impulse #3: The weather turns snowy. The Soviets are in no position to attack now that the German line has been re-established and so settle in for some defense, reclaiming some territory previously taken in the pocket. The Germans still hold Moscow, but the hexes around it have been reclaimed as well some additional hexes in the center. The CW take a combined and rework their convoy line, landing a few more corps in Sicily to keep up the pressure in the south. The US organizes its fleet in the Pacific and posts units in the UK on TRS, ready for something.
  Impulse #4: The Japanese continue a careful advance, except in Siam, where the presence of an Australian MOT forces them to fall back one hex to defend their capital. The Germans contemplate attacks, but with winter effects, eventually decides to hold their line, perhaps awaiting summer weather. Reinforcements arrive by rail from Germany and their line is beginning to look beefy again. The Italians improve their defenses in Italy, including beefing up Trieste again.
  Impulse #5: The weather unexpectedly turns clear in the temperate zone (another ‘3’). The CW decide to capitalize, flipping a defending INF in Brest and then invading (+15 assault, successful). The German SUB fleet is relocated back to Kiel. The Germans breathe a sigh of relief as a potential target was Kiel itself, but the lack of air cover shifted the Brits further west. Four US corps are on TRS awaiting follow-up, provided the turn does not end. Strat bombing takes one point from Lille. The Soviets continue to hold a defensive posture and China… holds the line.
  Impulse #6: The turn continues. Germany sends a HQ to France and shifts a few corps to try and hem in the beachhead at Brest. More corps nevertheless head east to where the southern front is again tilting in favor of Germany in terms of strength. No attacks happen, but the Germans are starting to feel bucky again in the USSR, although the added landing in France has caused some concern. Italy basically holds tight to its now impressive defensive position. Japan slowly builds up in the Philippines and NEI. They have the bauxite mines in Malaya, but have yet to actually take the capital. 
  The turn then ends, much to the dismay of the US and CW. Again no PARTs are rolled (lucky ‘6’ favors the Axis). The US is entirely in the war.

Jan/Feb 1942: The Allies win initiative, but elect to have the Axis move first. The weather starts mild, with rain across Europe. The Germans use the mild weather to assault Kursk, taking the city without loss (+12 assault). The rest of their impulse is spent solidifying their line, especially in southern Russia and sending reinforcements to France to counter the British beachhead at Brest. The Japanese assault Batavia, taking the city on a +18 attack, consolidating their own position there.  Italy takes a combined, sending out their lone remaining SUB, which has over the past several turns been a scourge in the Med, sinking CW CONVs and escaping harm in improbably ways.
  Impulse#2: The US and CW take naval actions and move troops into position on TRS and AMPH off the coast of France and also off the Italian coast. China holds its line, which is now increasingly looking secure with Japanese attention elsewhere. The valiant Free French anchor the line in the boot of Italy. The Soviets push up to encircle the isolated Germans in Moscow and reinforce their line. The CW sneakily drop off a MOT DIV to try and secure the Palembang oil fields. Naval raiding of Japanese CONV fails. 
  Impulse #3: The weather worsens, bringing snow to Europe. The Germans extend around the Brest landing, encircling it. The line in the USSR looks better. Massive artillery and ground strikes try to pound Pskov (which is completely encircled), but only a single unit it flipped. The Wehrmacht decides to wait on the attack. Japan pushes forces up towards Palembang. 
  Impulse #4: The CW drop PARA even in the snow and attack out of Brest, killing a MIL and expanding the beachhead by a hex. US troops land in Sicily. A CW corps pushes into Somalialand in East Africa. The Soviets hold their line, hoping for a long, long winter. 
  Impulse #5: A quiet Axis turn. The Japanese push a second corps near Palembang and push up next to Manila with a full stack of units. The Italians move a MTN near to Trieste, seeking to slip it into a better defensive position there.  The Germans bolster forces around Pskov and maintain a line in the south.
  Impulse #6: With the turn nearing an end, the CW mount a mighty assault to take Trieste… which fails spectacularly (+8 attack, rolled ‘5’ to get a ’13’ result of no casualties but completely flips). Fortunately for the Brits, the turn ends. The US unloads 4 corps into Italy, including northern Italy. The DIV makes it to Palembang. The US sends a major cruiser force to raid the Japanese coast, but despite having a great opportunity, the Americans cannot find any ships to sink. The Chinese hold the line, having pushed one hex into Indo-China. 
  The turn ends. One PART appears in northern China. The Axis have strong economies, with the Germans building at 35 (!), Italy near maximum, and Japan also near its own maximum.

Mar/April 1942: The Axis win initiative and go first. The weather is rainy across the globe except in the north monsoon (clear) and the temperate, where it is stormy. The Germans decide to take advantage and sail out their entire battle fleet to raid the Bay of Biscay, which is under-defended. The storm makes it hard to find anything, however, and no combat occurs. The Italians raid with their ‘super-sub’ but find no British CONV. The Japanese prepare to assault Palembang.
  Impulse #2: The US and UK take naval actions. 2 brave US cruisers raid off the coast of Japan, but again have no luck striking undefended Japanese CONV. The British, however, finally find their stride, locating the German fleet with a hunting fleet of their own. To the loss of one CA, the Brits sink the Gneisenau and the Bismarck, seriously reducing the strength of the German navy. More troops and planes make their way to Italy and off the coast of France. The Chinese reinforce their line while the Soviets ground-strike Moscow and surprisingly manage to flip both of the isolated units there. They spend the rest of the turn pushing units forward to surround the city. A factory in Leningrad is railed to the Urals.
  Impulse #3: The Germans return to focus on the USSR, assaulting Pskov even in the rain, taking the city on a +12 assault with one loss. The Japanese hunt the US cruisers, but fail to find them and prepare a shore bombardment fleet for the attack on Palembang.
  Impulse #4: The US cycles units into France and into northern Italy while the British snake forward to reinforce positions around the city of Trieste. The Soviets shift forces as their reinforcements make it to the various fronts and around Moscow. The Chinese… hold the line.
  Impulse #5: The Japanese assault Palembang, securing the oil on a +12 assault. The brave NZ MOT div vows revenge. The Germans reorganize their line in the north, seeking new targets, but continuing poor weather makes things slow. High quality reinforcements make the French front, now under the command of Guderian. Addition German units now man the passes in the Alps between Germany and Italy and are strategically placed to hold a line of sorts along the Yugoslavian border. Neither side has the forces to risk an incursion either way, resulting in an odd standoff. The Germans have, however, secured defensive positions to protect Bulgaria and the Rumanian oil. 
  The turn then ends. PARTs appear in the USSR, but the only roll the Germans fail is in an area where none can be legally placed. The Axis again build at nearly full capacity.

May/June 1942: The Axis win initiative, but decide to work shifting initiative and make the Allies go first. The weather starts clear. The Soviets finally crush the isolated German units in Moscow, liberating their capital on a +16 assault. Under a CW naval, the US launches an invasion in Normandy, successfully landing on a +13 invasion. Brazil is activated as a US minor ally. The Chinese hold the line. 
  Impulse#2: The Germans counterattack in the USSR, crushing two flipped units in a +19 blitz in eastern Ukraine. They also try to expel the US in Normandy, but Allied naval and air support drop the initially promising attack to a +3 blitz, which then fails (2/-). German aircraft rebase to western France to bolster their forces there. The Japanese land more units in the Philippines and adjust forces elsewhere, moving aircraft and land units to central Pacific Islands, clearly preparing for a face-off with the US. The CW move an AUS unit to Burma, building forces in the area.
  Impulse#3: The weather unexpectedly turns stormy. The US takes a combined while the CW takes a land to expand the beachhead. They catch a face down unit out of supply, killing it and moving closer to joining the two beachheads. Adjustments are made in Yugoslavia and around Trieste, which still holds strong. The Chinese hold and the Soviets desperately patch a gap in the lines.
  Impulse #4: A quiet turn with the bad weather. The Germans consolidate lines in the snow and mud in Russia, the Italians push more units towards Trieste and secure a rail-line they use for oil shipments from Germany. 
  Impulse #5: The weather clears. The CW and US take land actions, drop two CW PARA and blitz Rundstedt out of existence near Nantes. The move also connects the two beachheads and isolates two German corps. More US planes rebase into France, mostly FTR cover. The Soviets shift to keep their lines intact and slowly push the forces that liberated Moscow north towards Leningrad (now completely cut off) and south towards Gomel and northern Ukraine. 
  Impulse #6: The Germans launch a +16 blitz, killing a IHQ and ARM in the Ukraine, further punishing the Soviet line. In the West they reinforce a precarious line, but have one as more forces rail to France. The Italians hold steadfastly in Italy. 
  Surprisingly, the turn ends early. No PARTs appear.

July/August 1942:  The Allies win initiative and go first. The US takes a combined, the CW a naval, and the usual set up of major naval forces in the Med happens, with other fleets in the North Sea and Bay of Biscay to support the French landings. The Chinese push into Indo-China slightly. The Soviets shift forces slowly towards the fronts, running from the Crimea north to Leningrad. 
  Impulse #2: The Germans use the good weather to attack. A +16 blitz in southern Russia is successful, killing two units. A +14 assault on an isolated stack is also successful, but flips one unit. The Germans shift larger forces towards France, falling back one hex to build a solid line from Normandy to south of Nantes. Additional units assist Italy. The Italians push Balbo and an AA next to Trieste, along with several Italian and German FTRs. The area is hotly contested. The Japanese relocate forces to islands off of the Mariannas and send added FTR and NAV to the area.
  Impulse #3: The UK takes an air (!) and strategically bombs across Germany. Four BPs are taken overall, to no bomber losses despite two air battles. Strategic bombing also happens in Italy, but the Italians FTRs ward off the bombers. The US takes a combined and collects a Brazilian corps while some reinforcements come off the boats into France and Albania. The Soviets contemplate a counter-punch, but find the odds daunting, electing to hold the line. The Chinese, predictably, hold the line.
  Impulse #4: The Germans reposition on the Eastern front. Two HQs were railed over the turn to France, so supply is tenuous along the long front. No attacks happen, but the Wehrmacht looks impressive nonetheless. Italy takes an air action, reorganizing FTRs to protect their skies. Japan take yet another combined, cautiously pushing more forces towards Hawaii. The US fleet needs reinforcement, and the Essex CVs are coming….
  Impulse #5: The US and CW unleash ‘Operation That’s a Tasty Noodle!’ After raids and ground strikes see two CW TAC bite the dust, a joint force of Americans and British assault Trieste. The +8 assault… succeeds, taking the city without loss (rolled ’16’). Forces in Yugoslavia push around the border with Bulgaria, but the Germans have reinforced the area. In France, the isolated pocket of Germans on the coast are blitzed (+15 blitz) without loss, fully consolidating the beachhead, which now looks secure from Nantes to Cherbourg. The Soviets and Chinese hold the line, moving forces forward.
  Impulse #6: The Germans reinforce their French line and send more aircraft to the area, but decline a second risky attack, worried about their thin line. They do, however, attack in the USSR. A +11 blitz takes a key hex to secure the Dniepr River line, but at the cost of a MECH DIV (1/B*). The Soviets are bashed, but take no losses. The Japanese push up two full hexes around Manilla. MacArthur remains flipped from a ground strike the previous turn. 
 Impulse #7: The weather stays clear except for the N. Monsoon. 

Turn/game in progress…

War News

Commonwealth Declines French Call for Aid! Dateline London. 1 Sept 1939. The London Times. Despite honoring the first part of their pact with France, PM Watston Churchbar openly reneged on the agreement to send troops to France. “The French are perfectly able to defeat the Huns on their own, that is why they have the Maginot line.” On 8 Sept, however, German units seized key fortifications in the Maginot fortress complex, which turned out to be completely undefended by French troops. French military commanders cited the need to redeploy forces to “cover the gaps left by the perfidious Brits. We were hoping the Germans would not notice until we could call up reinforcements.”  

Germans Are Winners Winners Wieners! Der Deutsche Zeitungen. 14 May 1940, dateline Berlin. “The Germans are winning, winning, winning.” So said the Fuhrer, Herr Hitison. “The German people, such great people, they come to me and they say ‘Mein Fuhrer we don’t want to win any more, you’re winning too much, you’re  driving us crazy.’ and I say ‘I’m very sorry, but we’re going to keep winning, and were going to win win win, and were going to make Germany great again.'”

French PM Calls into Question British Commitment to ‘European Democracy.’ Le Monde. Dateline 16 May 1940, Paris. In an announcement that shocked no one except the British populace, the French general staff issued a statement for general release after two generally brutal weeks of taking beatings from the German army, in general. “If the BEF had honored its commitments–wait, if there were the promised British Expeditionary Force at all–then we would be eating sausages and sauerkraut in Frankfurt right now. But noooo, the Limeys have to go off and play in the Egyptian sand. We will never forget this breach of trust!” The general reading the announcement was cut off during delivery, mortally wounded by a stray bullet from the German troops not far from Paris itself.  

French Army Declares ‘War of Elan’ to Defeat the Hun! Dateline Paris, 1-15 July 1940, Le Monde. After a series of disasters under the leadership of the previous General of the Army, France appointed Gen. ‘DeGaulling’ to take command. DeGaulling immediately implemented a new policy: ‘Fight with spirit, not bullets!’ In early July the Germans launched a wave of attacks, all of which were completely defeated by counter bayonet charges. “The loss of life was minimal, not more than 80 to 90 thousand–a small price to pay for the honor of Paris!” said General DeGaulling. Some critics found the tactics inhumane, nicknaming him ‘appalling DeGaulling,’ but national sentiment is solidly behind the new general. “We love him!” said one soldier, “All we did before was lose, lose, lose. Now, we won one! Feels great and its less filling!”    

War of Elan Deals Decisive Blow to German Invaders! Dateline outskirts of Paris, 18 October 1940. Le Monde. German forces were shocked to discover that the French can fight in a surprise drive to liberate the capital. Col. Oolala remarked on their success: “We caught them completely by surprise. They were boarding trains to head east–we are not sure why given that the war is not over–and we mowed them down like the fascist kittycats they are.” Lead French units are now within sight of the city–some claiming that they can see the Eiffel Tower. Marshall Petain is scheduled to meet with the German garrison of Paris, presumably to negotiate their surrender….

British Government Rethinks ‘Help the French Never’ Policy, Scores Wins Against the Italians. Dateline London, 22 Oct 1940. The Sun. In a startling reversal of wartime policy, the Admiralty has broken ranks from the Watston Grabhill policy of “let the French defend themselves.” A joint naval maneuver caught several Italian cruisers between a British squadron on one side and the main French battle fleet on the other. Several Italian naval vessels were destroyed or damaged. Some pundits wonder whether the admiral in question is likely to be sacked by actually working with an ally, but thus far Downing Street has been quiet. 

“German Aggression”: Western Backed Rumor Fully Pacified. Pravda, dateline 21 November 1940. Citizens in the border regions of the Ukraine have noted an apparent German “military buildup” on the eastern border; however, these troop movements are merely routine internal German military exercises. Yesterday two “psychological wreckers” attempting to use these mundane troop movements as an excuse to disrupt collective farm work in the Ukraine were swiftly arrested. Investigation revealed both wreckers were receiving foreign capital to disrupt the Soviet industry. The wreckers were found guilty of treason, anti-Soviet behavior, and destruction of publicly owned property and were summarily executed. We reached out to the arresting NKVD officer for comment: “Yesterday we sent a strong message to the imperial powers that the Soviet worker that will be protected from foreign agitation.”

Olive Oil Sales Plummet as Italians Switch to German Oil! Dateline: Milan, 19 December 1940. Il Popolo d’Italia. As the Germans sent more and more oil to Italy for war efforts, local Milanesi began to use German oil as a substitute for olive oil in local dishes. In an interview, local Milanese Olio Gustoso replied, “The new oil has a pungent, robust taste that olive oil could never replicate. It’s excellent for risotto or for finishing a salad. It’s a good thing the Germans are sending us the stuff for free!” This reply shocked the interviewer, who had asked the man to comment on the fall of Tripoli.

British Navy Finally Decides to Use Air Power in Surprise Shift in Tactics. Dateline Scapa Flow, The Military London Times, 18 July 1941. The long standing tradition of fighting the enemy by ramming their ships with our own has finally come to an end. Admiral Suckett of His Majesty’s Royal Navy noted that after weeks of engagements with the Italian forces, “Our policy of victory by ramming the Italians was starting to cause shortages in, well, ships. We were sinking them, but it often took 2-3 our of our own cruisers to get the job done.” Instead, the Admirality decided to use the aircraft carriers that were watching the ramming exercises and sent torpedo bombers to attack the Italians. “Bloody good show those planes,” said Suckett, “we actually were sinking more Italians than anyone thought possible. I mean, at least one!” 

Soviet Strategy to Sacrifice Capital, Millions, Advances the Cause of International Communism. Pravda. Dateline Moscow, 19 August 1941. In a bold show of the power of communism in its fight against crony capitalism and its ally fascism, our comrade leader Eamon “ouchy” Stadams decided to surrender the capital, its essential rail hub, and millions of tons of military and civilian supplies to ‘trap’ the Germans. “Winter is coming,” said Stadams, “and when it does, those Germans will regret driving all this way in their tanks and trucks.” When asked about the brave sacrifice of all of those Russian citizens, Stadams only replied, “Who?” 

Royal Navy Issues Bounty on Italian Sub Fleet. London Times. Dateline Malta, Mediterranean Sea, 15 March 1942. The crews of the ‘Perla’ class Italian submarines have been pulling a ghost act, striking at British convoys and then disappearing before retribution can be exacted. Heavy naval air patrols continue to be ineffective and the Italian subs are gaining a reputation. In response the British Admiralty has issued a bounty for the plane or naval crew that finds and removes this pesky parasite from the war. Said Lord Puffelpuff, Admiral of the Med Fleet, “We have no idea how the Italians are managing this, but I swear on the King’s health that if we have to drain the bloody Med to get that sub, we will!” 

Local Genovesi Celebrate Return of Famous Sub Fleet. Dateline: Genoa, 16 March 1942. Corriere della Sera. The crews of the famous ‘Perla’ class submarine fleet are well known across Italy for their bravery in the face of the British navy. For years, the fleet has managed to stealthily sink convoys and distract British air forces around the Mediterranean. However, there have been reports that the British have put out a bounty on the beloved Perla and have threatened ecoterrorism. In response the captain of the sub fleet replied, “We honestly didn’t even realize they’ve been trying to kill us. The Brits have really bad aim.”

 

Perla Miraculously Escapes as Allies March into Trieste. Dateline: Venice, 26 July 1942. Il Gazzettino. It’s a sorrowful day in Italy as news spreads of the brutish British (and American) conquering of Trieste. Fortunately, the beloved Perla-class submarine fleet managed to escape the city right before the attack, thanks to being based in Genoa and nowhere near Trieste. In other Perla-related news, after another failed attempt by the Perla to find British convoys, the British pilots sent them a radio message, “You are, without a doubt, the worst sub fleet I’ve ever heard of.” The Perla sent back, “But you have heard of me.”